You can't break up with a soul mate [a love story in poetic verse]

74 | wildcat

the sun has not peeked out of the sky in five days
I was still choking on being a mother of David's children
how could he think I could be a good mother?
how could he love me when I was a total mess
I sat up in the middle of the night

thinking
David was sleeping heavily on the right side of the bed
I lit a cigarette and sat on the balcony with my coat on
It was four am
I should be quitting
I should be loving

I was fed up of all the "shoulda"
I never did

Jared had been sending me poems
like a mad poet
I read them and died a little inside
continued reading them like an addict
I tried to unblock his number
but I could not find it on my phone
I had no memory of it
I only remembered how his eyes
Looked up and down at me
when he was inside me
slowly thrusting

I opened my phone
read his poems again
and again
died a bit more
and tried to go back to sleep

I dreamt that Jared was in my kitchen
and I was baking him banana bread
we weren't talking to each other
only looking into each other's eyes
reading our minds
so easily
so effortlessly

it was as if he knew what I was going to say

I woke up with David caressing my back
and next thing I knew
I was moaning hard
in heat
like a wildcat

my sex drive was my constant
ready to go
and be loved
at any time

I sighed
Stretched
glanced at David
out of breath

Coffee?

Yes

I got out of bed
made coffee
sipping it quickly

David walked into the kitchen
half dressed
adorable
I poured him a cup

Got to leave fast,  go home and get ready for work. I slept like a baby.
I love sleeping with you.

Me too. I gotta go shower. You can show yourself out?

We kissed bye and I think I felt normal
for once

up until the phone pinged
on my way to work

I pulled over on the side of the road
and read Jared's poems

I was feeling sexually energized lately
I don't know why

his poems made me blush

I wanted just one more night with Jared

what harm would that do?

I knew he was a liar
a cheater
but I didn't care
I just wanted him for one last goodbye.

No one would find out.

I felt sick to my stomach.

No. I had to stop thinking this way.
I muted his account.
No more pings.