You can't break up with a soul mate [a love story in poetic verse]

67 | time

days passed
     weeks kicked by
         I counted the months
            December
January
February
March
April
the hardest of all
the day of your birthday I drank a whole bottle of ouzo
              five months of Jared

trying to reach deep inside me with
     words, rhymes, lies

i read his poems over and over again
resisting
      yet parched
hungry for him

touching every part of me he could
       not have

life with David was like a cozy blanket
   I should have been satisfied
but that need to be loved by Jared
    kept digging into me
  raining on me

I started to fall for David
for his kindness
I forced myself to be the best girlfriend
I cooked for him
read all the things I needed to do
check
did it all

against the advice of my gut

I kept reading Jared's poems
his love-bombing comments 

         I was involved with an illusion

I couldn't get rid of this deep wanting

my apartment  was full of a man

my heart was full of another

my inner beast within
craving Jared's touch

I did nothing

let the wave pass

let the love go

another month
May
another
poem
June
July
August
Jared was quiet

I assumed he would leave me alone
let me get over him
but it was as if there was never this closure
no real goodbye

one poem after another

seasons had me drunk
smoking more
hungrier for a touch I could not have

wilder for a moon I could not see

possessing this seed left unattended

i went about my life

my birthday came and went

my love life sprouted

I was twenty-eight now
and still my feelings for Jared
had not changed
time meant nothing

but my relationship with David
intensified
I met his family
his friends
I was the perfect girlfriend
proud of myself

I searched for JPpoetry
he was gone
all his poems deleted
his site gone
I felt sick to my stomach

he was radio silent again

just when I needed him most

i suppose be only cared for the chase
and not me

i suppose he found someone else
gave up on me

but then something happened.