Prologue

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"Jennie, Im sorry. Im sorry for everything. But I cant."

"What do you mean?"

"Jennie, I still love Jacob. And I can't do this." She look down on her hands. My tears started to fall again. No, I am not buying this.

"You've got to be kidding me Lisa." I stand up and pulled my hair tears still flowing down.

"What about those days huh? Those kisses? I mean Lisa we made love! I know it is. I can feel it." Im surprise I did not stutter despite my hard crying.

"Jennie Im sorry. Its my fault. I tried. I swear I tried. And just realized I am not really into girls. I wanted to be a girl not a shit girl with a mans dick. Jennie I love Jacob. Im sorry." She loves Jacob. Fuck who am I?"

"Did you just play with me? Did you just use me?" Lisa approaches me and tried to hold my hand by I step back causing her to stop.

"Jennie no. Its not."

"Well clearly it is!" I shouted. "Tell me Lisa, just please be honest with me." I look directly into her eyes. I know I look like a mess, and my eyes puff from all the crying but I dont care. "Is there any chance, or any time that you feel something for me? Huh? Tell me you feel something for me and I swear I will fight for that feelings. I will show to you that you can love me too as much as you love him. Lisa please." To say that I am hurt is an understatement, I am more than that. Im broken into pieces. But if she will tell me that she feel something for me. I am willing to forget all these pains and love her even more. But my world shattered into pieces more when she shook her head.

She didn't feel anything for me. She never loved me. Thats what my friends are telling me. What they are reminding me. I told them I can do this. That I can bear it when this day come, but I was wrong. I was all wrong. I can't. The woman I love, the woman I wan't is in love with a guy, and she will never be into girls.

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