CHAPTER 58

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I took a deep breath before taking Karla's outstretched hand to help me sit up from my bed, I groaned in pain closing my eyes for a moment to hold back the tears of agony.

"This is not okay sultanim, you have to see a doctor and tell out padishah," Karla said worriedly helping me stand up and over to my mirror where my dress was hung.

I'm fine, do not worry my Murad with nonsense" I ordered accepting Malin's help to get out of my sleepwear and into my dress.

"Sultanim, forgive me for my courage but I will not stand idly and watch you, my sultana and best friend wither away because of your stubbornness," Emily said angrily stalking closer from her place beside the fireplace.

"Sultanim, forgive me for my courage but I will not stand idly and watch you, my sultana and best friend wither away because of your stubbornness," Emily said angrily stalking closer from her place beside the fireplace

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"Emily, do not forget who you are talking to" Malin hissed nudging the slightly younger girl, she was younger than us but that doesn't mean she was not good.

"I have not but this is not something we should keep quiet about if you do not tell him by nightfall sultanim then forgive because I will go and tell him," She said throwing the metal thing she was holding to steer the wood so it won't die out. She pulled open the doors and walked out of my room closing them behind her with a loud bang.

"I will talk to her and punish her for the way she spoke with you immediately," Karla said already walking out of the room but I stopped her by calling her name.

"Do not do anything, maybe she is right and I should tell my son" I sighed as Malin finished my hair and put on my crown before placing on me my jewelry.

"I am not young anymore and I am defiantly not immortal," I said taking <malin's hand to help me stand up from the throne in front of the mirror.

I took a deep breath as they placed on my headscarf before I walked out of my room and down the harem where all of the girls jumped including Lara who was holding in between her arms my newborn grandson, Osman, while her daughter, Safiye, who was born a couple of years back. The small girl raised her small hand and waved at me as everyone in the harem bowed to me, I gave my granddaughter a small wave before continuing my way out of the harem and down the golden road to my son's room.

I walked in smiling as he jumped up and walked over taking my hand in his and kissed the back of it softly smiling at me like the angel he was and, I pray to Allah, will always be.

"What is the matter mother?" He asked letting go of my hand and standing straight giving off an aura of confidence and power.

"I-" I suddenly felt a fit of coughs coming and I had to lean against my son to be able to hold myself up and not fall to the floor.

"What's wrong mother?" He asked panting as I couldn't hold my own weight up anymore and fell down on my knees pulling him down with me. He held me so I was lying on my side as I coughed more and more feeling something trickle down the side of my face, I put my hand to my face before pulling it away as I stopped coughing to see blood on my hand making my eyes widen as the world started spinning around me.

"SILAHTAR!" Murad yelled as the world started to turn dark and my body relaxed letting the pain in having no more fight in it.

"Mother please wake up" He begged sounding like he was on the verge of crying. I tried to open my eyes but it was no use.

"Mother, wake up!" He begged yelling this time as he shook me roughly but I couldn't open my eyes at all.

"What is going on?" He asked someone who I could only assume was one of my personal maids. He picked me up from the floor and placed me down on the soft bed that I haven't been in for many many years, since my Ahmed left me in the cruel world.

"Why is she like this? Since when? Why haven't you told me?" I could hear throw his questions on them like the bombs they use in war. I suddenly stopped hearing anything as I was sucked into a void with nothing around me.

"Jawhara"

"Mother"

"Rose"

I felt my body freeze at the second name, I haven't been called that in many years. There were three voices calling, Ahmed, Murad and... my father.

"Mother, please wake up" Murad's voice seemed to be underwater. I was drowning... I was drowning in my own blood, my blood was filling my lungs.

"Follow Murad"

Ahmed! I turned around to see my Ahmed. I couldn't help but run at him and hug him as tightly as I can wanting nothing more than to just feel him against me, my Ahmed was in between my arms.

"Follow Murad," He said again as we pulled away from each other. He placed both his hands on my cheeks rubbing his thumbs softy against the apples of my cheeks.

"You need to live and be by our children, it's not your time yet," He said letting me go and walking backward. into a light that just appeared, the further he got away from the bigger the light got.

"Murad" I whispered as I started feeling rough hands against my own. I was able to slowly open my eyes to see my Murad leaning over my body that was now laid in my own bed in my room, I was even changed into my sleeping gown.

I tried raising my hand to place it on his cheek to comfort him, to tell him I was right here but, I couldn't which made my eyes widen. I tried to open my mouth to speak but no sound came out like I was a mere doll laying there motionless.

"Why can't she move?" Murad asked turning to face the heard of doctors standing at the foot of my bed. One of the doctors ran over and started looking over my hands to show blue bruises littering my arms under the dress.

"What are those?" Murad asked snatching my hand from her and looking it over trying to figure out what was happening to me.

"I do not know, your majesty," She said pulling away and off the bed and back to her place beside the other doctors.

"If you don't know then why are you here or even alive?!" Murad yelled standing up from the bed and glaring at the doctor who looked down in shame and seemed on the verge of crying. Gevherhan stepped forward and placed her hand on his shoulder to calm him down which worked as his angry panting subsided and they both turned to look at me with broken eyes.

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