A SULTANA'S LIFE| MAGNIFICENT CENTURY| ✔️

CHAPTER 30

"Sultana, his majesty is asking for you" I huffed a little moving Beyazid from my lap and onto the couch. It's been a week since I came back here and until this day I haven't see Ahmed once but he has been sending me countless gifts from dress to jewelry and shoes.

"Your majesty" I bowed when I walked into his room making sure to keep my cold expression on.

"Ah, Jawhara you're here. Come sit beside me" he patted the spot beside him on the bed where he sat. For a moment I was debating if I should or not but then decided to do it.

"I asked you to come here because I wanted to tell you a dangerous secret that no should know" he started taking my hands into his. I was about to pull away but he held them tighter refusing to let them go just yet.

"If this secret goes out to the public it could cause a rebel," he said. I felt worry bubble up inside of me, what could've been so dangerous that it could cause a rebel.

"I'm sick," he said. I raised an eyebrow at him. That's it? He's sick?

"I'm dying," he said. I felt all of the air leave my lungs. Tears started building up in my eyes threatening to fall. I may be mad at him but I don't want him to die. He was my rock, my lover, the father of my children, and no matter what he does he doesn't deserve to die.

"Ahmed, are you sure of that?" I asked holding back a sob forcing my tears back before they could fall.

"The maid that tricked me, Atike's mother she was a spy to the Vatican and she put poison in my food for the past year and there's no antidote to that poison" he explained. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. After all these years of being together, I don't think I'll be able to survive without him. I did live away for a while but what kept me going was knowing he was alive and healthy along with our children.

"How long?" I asked or more like whispered. A tear escaped his eye-rolling down slowly.

"A couple of months," he said. He placed his hand on my cheek making me close my eyes at the contact. He was alive today but not tomorrow, tomorrow wasn't guaranteed anymore. Our family is falling apart and he's the first marble to fall and I pray to God that I'm the next, I don't want to see one of my children die no matter what.

He started coughing very hard. He pulled away from me and coughed even harder making me worry. After a couple of seconds, he took a deep breath and pulled his hand away from his mouth making my heart clench at the sight of blood on his hands. This just became even more real and terrifying.

"Should I call the doctor?" I asked shakily not taking my eyes off of his blood filed hand. The thought of living without him terrified me, how was I supposed to raise our children alone?

"No I'm okay love" he patted my shoulder smiling brightly at me. God this is so unfair, I just got him back even though I wanted to make him pay but I'd still go back to him either way, I love him too much but now he's already going. He's too young to go yet.

That night I held him as tight as I possibly can and he let me without even one protest. I couldn't sleep all night watching him sleep, watching him breathe to make sure he was still with me for the time being.

What has fate done to you my lover, my heart. Why is it him that must go? Why can't it be someone else that goes? Why do I have to live the pain of losing the most important people in my life again? First my parents and siblings and now the love of my life? Why me? God, why did you choose me to live this painful life?

"Are you okay mother?" Mehmed asked the next day when I went back to my room. I smiled a little at him placing my hand on his cheek.

"I'm fine my lion" I kissed his forehead before going to the bathroom. None of my maids asked me why I was crying as they washed me but they did seem concerned.

Did I forgive him too fast? Yes. Do I regret it? No. He was dying for god's sake and theses short moments could be our last moments together.

And what happens after he leaves us? Who will ascend the throne? Osman and Mehmed are twins and I'm sure they will fight over who gets it. Allah, I'm begging you to show me a way out of this brotherly war. I don't want my children to kill each other as Hürrem's sultan's children did. I can't afford to lose one of them.

"Mommy are you okay?" I looked down at my young Ibrahim, he was clinging to me.

"I'm fine my young lion" I pulled him up placing a small kiss to his forehead forcing my tears back.

Beyazid, Ibrahim, Gevehran, and Atike will all be orphaned very young. How am I supposed to raise so many children all on my own?

Allah don't leave me I'm begging you. Allah shows us some mercy and sends us a cure so I can finally have my family fully back and then I can be angry at Ahmed all I want.

I smiled lightly at the thought pulling Ibrahim closer to me. An image of me glaring ay Ahmed who was looking sheepishly at me popped up in my head.

"Aren't you hungry my lions?" I asked looking around at the children who sat around me.

"Yes we are mommy" Beyazid answered for his siblings with a pout.

"How about we all eat lunch today in the garden with your father?" I asked. We all got up and walked out to the garden where maids were running around to prepare our tables and food before we were joined by Ahmed. He didn't let me sit on a cushion beside him, instead, he made me sit beside him on the throne holding my hand tightly.