CHAPTER 36

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"It was a son sultana" I closed my eyes letting a tear leave my eye for my grandson that was born dead.

"The sultan passed" I let out a sob as I leaned on to Mahbikar.

"Prince Mehmed joined Allah in the sky as an angel" I fell to my knees as each person around me informed me of who I've lost.

First Ahmed then my grandson and now both of my sons who were my first and I hate to admit it, because it's unfair for my other children but were my most favorite.

I looked at myself in the mirror unable but to remember when I looked at it when I was pregnant with the twins. I wrapped my arms around myself as if I was protecting my unborn children and the smile couldn't be wiped from my face.

I stood with the rest of the harem in front of it waiting for the coffins to be bought out

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I stood with the rest of the harem in front of it waiting for the coffins to be bought out. I couldn't cry or I'll be deemed weak so I cried as hard as I can in the privacy of my room before I  came down to the harem where all I received were looks of pity which I ignored as the coffin of my Osman was bought out first.

Then followed by the coffin of his son who we gave him the name of Omar and then my Mehmed

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Then followed by the coffin of his son who we gave him the name of Omar and then my Mehmed. I couldn't help but place my hands on the coffin for a moment making the aghas stop and let me have one last moment with my son.

Emily pulled me back away from the coffin to let them pass before we would leave for the imperial tower where I would watch the funeral of my grandson and two of my sons and the coronation of my other son

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Emily pulled me back away from the coffin to let them pass before we would leave for the imperial tower where I would watch the funeral of my grandson and two of my sons and the coronation of my other son.

I stood with all of my daughters beside me crying while I had to hold it in until I was in my room. I let only one tear leave my eye as the coffins were bought out in the marble clearing. Osman's coffin was placed on a marble table with Mehmed and Omar's on the floor being of lower status.

I watched as Murad walked out making everyone in the clearing bow to him as he sat down on the throne and raised his hand signaling them to stand back up

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I watched as Murad walked out making everyone in the clearing bow to him as he sat down on the throne and raised his hand signaling them to stand back up.

I didn't know if I should feel proud or just sink lower into my sorrow but I knew that the answer was something I had no choice in other than to be forced to do the former and let my pride take over as all of the viziers kneeled down to kiss my son's robe.

I hated that we couldn't bury all three of my boys earlier but we had to wait for Murad to arrive before we were allowed to bury them like the customs demand. It took Murad three weeks to reach us is in a very far away sanjak while Mehmed's was closer so his body reached us in the span of one week.

"I miss them" I looked beside me at my daughter, Zahra, who was sobbing in her sister's arms, Shahrazad. I couldn't help but look down at my daughter's swollen belly where Omar's playmate was due any date now.

I took a deep breath and wiped the stray tear that fell on my cheek and placed my arm around Kaia who was full-on sobbing and pulled her to me letting her bury her head in my side and cry as much as she wants.

I didn't only lose two sons and a grandson but my daughters lost two brothers and a nephew we weren't even able to meet and spoil. The nation lost a sultan and two princes, one they only found out about three hours before when we announced the funeral and telling them to close their stores for a week in honor of the sultan and princes and they all, men and woman, would be eating in the huge tents that were being set in the city, they would be eating the food in honor of my sons' death. I wish I would've died before I witnessed such a day.

I forced the harem as customs to all wear black and no one was allowed to leave the castle for the next three days.

I walked back to the harem and changed my headscarf that was now wet from Kaia's tears.

I went down to the harem where the praying for their souls would be held when I saw Shahrazad walking over too. I smiled wanting to take some of her burden off her shoulders even if it was with a fake smile that I had to force on my face, only for her and my grandchild's sake.

"My lovely" I acknowledged smiling lightly at her as she stopped and bowed to me wiping away her tears

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"My lovely" I acknowledged smiling lightly at her as she stopped and bowed to me wiping away her tears.

"How are you mother?" She asked stepping closer to me taking both of my hands into hers. I sighed deeply before answering her.

"I've been better" I patted her hands and let her loop hers with mine so I can help her into the harem where we sat each on a couch beside each other as the sheikha started the prayer.

I'm sorry Ahmed, I wasn't able to protect our precious boys. They're with you now please take good care of them.

I need you by my side so much right now, I don't think I've needed you more than I do right now but I know it's impossible for you to be by my side.

I looked down at Hurrem sultan's ring that was glittering in the sunlight. Suddenly all of the sunlight disappeared making everyone gasp as a loud booming sound echoed around us.

It was like god too heard my sorrow and changed the weather to match how I was feeling on the inside. It was a thunderstorm that was going on inside me and I was ready to murder the two girls who poisoned my sons, they were currently down in the dungeons waiting to be excited tomorrow the same time my son's funeral happened and I will make sure all of Istanbul would be there. I will hand their heads on the gates of the city where everyone will see them and take this as a warning to whoever would even think about hurting my children ever again.

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