Fate and Destiny (The Fated Series, #2)

Chapter 18 - Darius - Aurea Deus

"Please don't freak out."

Pain lances through my arm from the effort to let only a small amount of the power out. I can feel it lashing out and begging to be set free, but my control has gotten better, and the pain fades after a second of pulling it up. Holding my hand in front of me, I snap my fingers, igniting a spark that encases my hand in flames and slowly goes up my arm.

When I first was learning to use the elements, I felt like I was on a sugar high. Adrenaline rushed through me, my body felt lighter than ever, and I felt more...me. For so long I was lost in myself, trying to find out where I really belonged and who I was behind the mask of the Crown Prince. Then Clare came along and she helped me put puzzle pieces together, but having thought about it, I never really felt like myself until I woke up after a four-day elemental sleep. Then shit happened, and I felt even more lost than before. Not even the summoning of the elements feels like more than numbness now.

With the flames sheathing my arm, I find myself wishing that they would burn away at the skin rather than warm it like a blanket. I'd happily put the elements back into the pendant if I knew how, or if they weren't going to be something I'll likely depend on to get Clare back. The only thing I feel when using them is the pain that I've always felt summoning them, and even that's rather dull. I want to smile and not have it be something that feels false. I want to laugh easily and make small fire animals for people to enjoy. I want so much more than my soul is willing to give – or can give for any matter. The flames dance brightly on my arm, and yet to me they feel black and white.

"Heathens burn me." I look to Brandr, an eyebrow raised as he stares at my arm. "Sorry, poor choice of words."

"I think they're a rather appropriate choice of words," Gabe chimes cheerfully. If I weren't currently trying to keep the Asturians from jumping out of the window in fear, I'd toss a ball of flame at him. At least Mal punches him in the arm.

"May I..." One of the blonds who sits in a chair, his wife sitting wide-eyed on the arm of the chair, has a hesitant hand raised towards my arm.

I nod and slowly make my way over to him, making sure to walk around the left side of the table so that no one is near the flames as I pass. I hold out my own hand towards him, keeping a respectable distance away. He reaches out to touch it, but his wife stops his hand before it can get too close.

"It's alright," I tell her. "I won't burn him unless I want it to – and I don't want it to."

She doesn't look convinced, but she slowly releases his wrist. The couch and chairs creek as the others lean forward to watch as his hand enters the flames on my hand. He huffs a shaky laugh, playing with his fingers in the fire. He says something to his wife in Asturian, and with a glance at me, she lets her own hand reach out and touch the flames. When they don't burn her, she smiles and adds her other hand to it.

"Cup your hands," I tell her. She does, and as I gently pull my own hand away, a small baby flame stays within her own. It takes more focus to keep the thing controlled, but it's a good way to keep the power from spilling over the edge and to train my capabilities at the same time.

Leaving her and her husband to play with the small lick of fire, I walk around the room and let them all wave their hands through it. They smile and move slowly when leaning forward, but in the end, they all feel what I do. I know because I can see it in their eyes. It's an odd thing to touch fire without being burned, just as it is to feel every breath that everyone in this room takes. There are things that I still don't understand, and that bothers me more than anything. Sibella is in Layara, and though she told me how to train and what to look for, I still wish she were here to tell me why I don't feel more normal.