Letters to Chanyeol

Letter 36

Dear Chanyeol,

Remember the time when we would hang out in coffee shops just to play games? You would bring your Nintendo Switch and we would try various games because we enjoy playing and we're both competitive.

I remembered that you cannot accept if I beat you in a game. You would ask me to repeat it again and again until you win. You were such a little child. But what was amazing about our relationship before was that we pulled each other up.

I pushed you to study hard and you taught me how to be matured. I motivated you to have goals and you helped me become chill. It was a great tandem to be honest. I think those little things made love you harder.

One of my favorite memories of us was when we tried Jazz Dance on our rooftop. We were becoming addicted to eating out that we were starting to get fat. So, we decided to try that game.

It was a game that requires us to dance and the person who dances better, gets a higher score. It will also tell us how much calories we lost per song. Considering that we were competitive, we did our best to win.

We would dance for hours and we won't stop until we won. Sometimes, you would sit down and watch me. There was even a time when you took a video of me because you said I wasn't that bad. I didn't believe you of course because I didn't see myself as a dancer.

After that, we would lay on the slide with our perspiration flowing from our cheeks. We would look at the sky and watch the stars. Sometimes, we would talk about our future or things that were bothing us.

I love these small moments. I love it when we do things together. I love it when you share with me what's on your mind. I love it when you become competitive. I love it when you look at me like I was the most beautiful man in the world.

But the truth is, it was you not me. Sure, your idea was selfish but I know that you also did it for me. You didn't want me to suffer. You also chose to continue your life even it hurt. What you did hurt you as well.

I couldn't understand it at first but now I do. That's why I have decided to make up for our lost time. For the remaining days we have, let us be happy.