Letters to Chanyeol

Present Time

The walk to Kyungsoo's car was quiet. I kept on sniffing because of too much crying and he was just silent. When we reached the parking lot, he got his keys and pressed it for the car to unlock.

I just followed his direction without saying anything. When we were both in the car, he looked at me. "What's your plan now?"

I wasn't sure what to answer, so I ignored the question and opened a new one.
"How was the meeting? Do you think they can bring justice to the book?" Kyungsoo kept staring at me with pity. Do I really look hopeless at this point?

He took a deep breath and prepared to start driving. He placed his keys and started the engine. "Well, the director was a fan of yours so I was confident that he would follow everything on the book."

The car started moving and just nodded. "That's great then. I have been thinking about the next book and I think it will have the same vibe as the first one."

I couldn't see Kyungsoo's reaction because it was too dark. The only light we have came from outside his car. "So, another sad book?" He didn't sound too surprised so I guess that was a good thing.

"Yes. I want to base it..." I paused, I wasn't too sure it would be right to say it.

"I know, base it on the two of you." He didn't sound angry or pissed. If anything, his tone was sad. I looked down. I don't know if writing another book about Chanyeol was a good idea but what he was going through was something I wanted to remember. As there as chance I could forget it.

"So what's your plan? Stop your whole life for a month then after write the novel and be a successful author?" I frowned, now his tone rose. What exactly was he feeling?

I frowned, "what is your problem?"

He took a deep breath before turning the direction. "I know I'll never understand your history but don't you think this was a bad idea? I mean, sure, you feel guilty for being rude to him for the past weeks, but must you hurt yourself this way? We both know you won't be fine after this."

A tear fell from his eyes. I know that he was only concerned about me but I don't understand why he must be so against this. "He's dying, Kyung. This isn't the same as breaking up or being apart for days. He's going to die."

"So you'd rather be with him and watch him get so weak? You'd rather be hurt every single time you see him?"

I couldn't take it anymore. Everything that was inside of me was pushing me to let these emotions out. "Yes. Because this will be the last time I'll ever see him. The thought of not seeing him anymore frightens me. The thought that he'd be gone for real horrifies me. You wouldn't understand because you never loved someone the same way as I did to him!"

The car suddenly stopped in an instant. Kyungsoo didn't bother apologizing and just looked down. He seemed hurt but I didn't care. He was being insensitive right now.

"You were right. I'll never understand that kind of love because the person I love doesn't love me back. The person I care about is still stuck up with his ex that all I want was to protect him from all the pain in this world, but he kept on going to the place that hurt him."

He turned to me and I saw his watery eyes. "I'm sorry if I just wanted to protect you from all of this, Baekhyun. But you were right. Who am I to comment on your life?"

"Kyungsoo" I mumbled but he opened the lock on the doors. "You should rest if you plan to go to the hospital tomorrow."

I took a deep breath, got my bag, and head out. In a couple of minutes, he started his car and drove away. I guess despite accepting our situation, Kyungsoo would always have a thing about my feelings for Chanyeol.

I started walking to my apartment until I saw Sehun by the lobby. Upon seeing me, he stood up and smiled. "Hey."