Letters to Chanyeol

Letter 24

Dear Chanyeol,

I know how break ups work. I knew that the moment we broke up, you'll find someone new or you'll try to. So every time I see you online ---which was weird since when we were together, you weren't --- I knew you were busy talking to new people.

I didn't mind, even if you told me you were not interested in dating after our relationship. In just 3 weeks, I saw you ate every word you said to me.

Your mom posted something and she tagged you. I, the very stupid me, clicked on your profile and that was when I realized that we were not longer friends on Facebook. I was surprised to be honest because I thought you would keep it. 3 weeks have passed and you didn't unfriend me, so why now?

But like the past few weeks, I didn't bother asking you. I just accepted because what else can I do, right? I just accepted the fact that we would never be friends as well. It was like going back to strangers. I also took it as a good sign to help me move on. At least, I won't see your posts or be tempted to check up on you.

I was busy with my life already. I was getting used to not having you around. But my bestfriend, who happened to be your friend as well, chatted me one day.

"Did you see Chanyeol's story?"

I paused. I didn't know why but my heart started to race. She wasn't the type to meddle with my business so what she saw might be controversial.

"No. We're no longer Facebook friends"

She didn't reply anything else and just sent a photo of a girl who looked like it was from a video call. You had a caption about her and even tagged her. I suddenly understood why you unfriended me. You already have a girlfriend.

With the help of my bestfriend, who happened to be a good researcher, we instantly got all the information about her. She was younger and didn't finish her studies. She was working at a company and she seemed to be the bread winner type.

We were nothing alike. Starting from her gender, we came from different worlds. I was not the boastful type but God knows that I was so much better than her. So why, Chanyeol?

In my previous relationships, I was always left for the better person. But now, I couldn't understand your choice. Maybe I was being bitter, but couldn't you at least choose a more deserving woman?

In just 3 weeks, you already gave me enough reason not to wish you to come back to me.

Sometimes, I wondered if you really intended to do these to me to help me move on. But then, why didn't you just tell me to back off? Why tell me all those wonderful words when you're just gonna hurt me in the end?

I know I wasn't he strongest person you know, but I wasn't weak either. I can handle rejection. In fact, it would've been easier if you hurt me that day so I could've accepted it easily than feel like a complete idiot now.