It's complicated

29:

We were at rehearsal, he barely looked at me. I feel like a bitch for doing what I did. He's never gonna forgive me now. Donovan kept on texting me asking me if he could take me out.

I mean would it even matter whether I did it or not because it's not like Xavier's gonna care or ever speak to me again.

I should do it but I don't want to. I want Xavier to take me out. I want to do everything with him. After rehearsal I ran up to him and tried talking to him but as usual it didn't end well.

"Xavier."

"What do you want? Shouldn't you be with that new boyfriend of yours?"

"I wanna talk please just give me a chance to explain. And his not my boyfriend, he's an old friend from school."

"Whatever you wanna call it. Look I don't have time for this I'm gonna be late for my next class."

He started walking away from me. I had to do something to stop him. If I could just push him far enough he'll storm up to me and feel that electricity and realise that he wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with him.

"Xavier please stop being so fucking stubborn."

"You don't get to tell me what to do okay. I'm done and I'm serious so please leave me alone. For real this time."

He walked away and I just stood there. I really messed up this time. I made my way home and got straight into bed. Sleep was the only thing that was gonna make me feel better right now.

It was currently the next morning. I got up and finished for school. Today we had a dubble rehearsal. In class like yesterday and after school.

The play was about a week and a few days away. I wasn't really focused on the play at the moment all I wanted to do was fix all my mistakes.

This day was turning out to not be so bad after all but it all went south when I saw Xavier and Emma hanging out. What the hell was this?

I tried walking past and acted like I didn't see them. But he had to stop me and pull my soul out. Seriously. I just kept on walking but Em then called me over.

"(Em) Hey Claire."

"Em I didn't see you there."

"(Xavier) How you doing?"

"Please don't act like you care. Em I'll talk to you later okay."

"(Em) Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I just have somewhere to be."

I went straight to class after that. What was he trying to do? Make me jealous? Donovan messaged me again asking if he could take me out.

This time I answered. If Xavier wanted to play this game, then we're gonna play it. I told Donovan that he could take me out and made my way to class.

When I entered I saw Xavier and Emma making out. What the actual pork sticks was going on here. Was this his sick way of getting me back.

I went and sat in my seat and ignored them. I tried getting through the day but I couldn't so it. So I got up and asked the teacher if I could be excused.

I was gonna go to the drama teacher and make up some story to make sure I didn't have to be at rehearsal. I don't know if she's gonna buy what I'm gonna say but she'll just have to understand.

"Hi ma'am."

"Claire shouldn't you be in class?"

"I'm on my way somewhere ma'am that's why I'm here. I won't be able to make it to rehearsal. I'm so sorry ma'am but I'll make sure to run my lines and everything. I won't fall behind I promise."

"Are you sure it can't wait Claire? We need you here."

"I know ma'am but this can't wait. It's personal things I have to do and deal with."

"Okay Claire I understand. Just be here tomorrow please. It's really important that we get this right."

"I will be ma'am."

"That's what I like to hear."

I turned around and made my way out of the class.

"And Claire for what it's worth don't let whatever is going on get in the way if what you're doing here. You have talent Claire I'm serious. It could get you far if you use it the right way."

"Thank you ma'am I appreciate that. It means a lot."

I left and messages Donovan to meet me at the river if it was possible. He didn't hesitate to answer back. So we met one another there and he brought some friends along.

"I don't hope you mind. I brought some friends along and something strong to drink I figured you might need it."

"Thanks. Your such a great person."

"Anything for you Claire. As long as you feel better I'm happy."

"This is just what I needed."

"I know you better than you think."

We had a blast. His friends seem nice. Everyone was swimming. I wasn't planning on doing it but they threw me in the water anyway. I should of know he wasn't gonna leave me to sit alone I peace.

Because truth be told he knew I would overthink or something. He does know me better than I think. We practically grew up together.

It was around five and they started a fire. It really started getting cold and I didn't have any warm clothes to wear. He was nice enough to offer me his extra shirt he had in his car.

It wasn't ideal to wear but it was better than dying of the cold. I sat beside him rubbing my arms and legs. He seemed to notice me doing this because he gave me his jacket to wear.

"Aren't you gonna be cold?"

"I have a fire to keep me warm if I do."

"But still."

"Claire I don't want you to get cold. You'll get sick and that's the last thing you need right now. Ecspecially with the play coming up."

"How'd you know?"

"I have my ways."

I leaned in closer and he kissed me once again. He was so sweet. So much sweeter than Xavier. He didn't go out of his way to hurt me, he actually cared for me. More than I can say about Em and Xavier. They both stabbed me in the back.

"(Donovan) You taste so much sweeter than I remember."

"Stop it."

"Make me."

"Donovan."

"What Claire, it's not like you can make me."

"Oh really."

"But I'd like to see you try."

"I'm gonna grab something to drink. Want something?"

"Don't change the topic."

"I'm not. I'm serious do you want something to drink?"

"I'll walk with you."

He kept slapping my ass all the way to the cooler.

"Stop that."

"Or what?"

He did it once again and I slightly pushed him away. That didn't stop him because he came back for more. So I pushed him away again and he pulled me closer.

"Every since I saw you the first time you've driven me crazy, you still do."

I wasn't thinking about what happend today. I had forgotten it and it was thanks to him. He wanted to say something but I shut him up. I kissed like if never kissed anyone before.

He was shocked but recovered very quickly. There was something about the way he kissed me that made me feel loved.

"(Donovan) You're gonna be the death of me. But I'm not complaining at least I'll die happy."