It's complicated

43:

I went and sat down beside him holding him. He needed comfort. I mean I just told him I'm moving far far away. Imagine the shock that sends over one's system.

"I never wanted to leave you. I just had no choice. I can't expect my mom and Caleb to pay for my apartment or you for that matter. And with the wedding coming up they have to safe on costs. This is just as difficult for me. It was a big discussion I had to make. One that impacts my future. And with everything that's been going on I think a new start is better. I'm sorry I have to leave you. I know a lot of shit has been going on lately."

"Can we not talk about this right now? Nothing I say or do is going to make you stay. You made your choice and that's it. It's a done deal. So no matter how much I try and get you to stay. You won't you said it yourself. I just wanna go to sleep."

"Can I stay over. I mean since I'm moving I thought it would be okay."

"I don't care as long as we just go and sleep."

We got into bed and he curled up to me. I racked my hands through his hair, it was so soft. He fell asleep not long after that. I couldn't though, I just laid there staring at the ceiling.

I was overthinking everything. What if I don't fit in? What if I find a way to screw things up again? All of this was just to overwhelming.

But then again things haven't been better here either. A fresh start will do me good. I can start a blank page and move on with my life. I can move past every little bad thing that has happened.

At was 8:30 and I still didn't manage to sleep. I should probably go home and get packing. It is Friday after all. Everything happened so quickly. I didn't even have enough time to clear my mind.

Xavier turned around and I got up. I had to dress and leave. Seeing him cry just makes everything hurt so much more.

"You weren't planning on leaving without saying goodbye were you?"

"No of course not. I just wanted to get dressed before I said goodbye."

"Keep the shirt. That way you'll at least have a reminder of me."

"Thank you. I should probably get going."

He got up and hugged me. It was the tightest hug I've received from him ever.

"I'm gonna miss seeing you around."

"I'm gonna miss that to."

"Who's gonna wear my shirts now? I'm gonna miss seeing you in them."

"I'll always love you Xavier. Never forget that."

"Please how can anyone ever forget you. You leave quite a mark on a person."

"I'll text you, okay."

"Sure, I'll be waiting."

We exchanged goodbyes and I left. I drove to the look out point and sat there. Memories of what just happened flooded my mind and I got angry at myself.

I hit the steering wheel and yelled at the top of my lungs. How can something hurt so bad?

" Fuck!"

I got a text from my mom asking where I was. They needed to get into my apartment so that the movers could pack the remainder of the things that were left.

I got to the apartment and opened up for them. It wasn't even an hour later before everything was empty. Every memory erased. Like it never happened.

Emma pitched up with tears in her eyes but I walked past her like she didn't exist. She hurt me and she hurt Xavier and for that I can't forgive her. Even though that's the right things to do.

The drive was okay and the new house was beautiful. It had a big pool in the backyard. There were four bedrooms and they each had there own bathroom and they were quite spacious.

The kitchen had marble counter tops and in the middle of the kitchen was an island. And in the corner of the kitchen was a noock. The living room had a fire place which was nice.

It didn't even take me a week before I settled in. I even went so far as to take my papers to the school so that they could enroll me.

I haven't heard from Xavier in three weeks. I must say I'm not surprised. I knew this would happen once I moved away.

At least things were looking up for me. I had loads of friends and no drama yet. I had another play comimg up, second one this year and I got the lead.

Didn't surprise me. I'm not the best but I'm good at setting a good example. If that even makes any sense. I decided against my best efforts to text Xavier but he didn't answer so I phoned his father.

"Hi Derek."

"Claire how are you?"

"I'm great, thanks. You don't maybe know where Xavier is?"

"I'm not sure his been very busy lately. Barely comes home and when his home he's sleeping. He took up extra activities just to stay busy. He doesn't like sitting still it makes him overthink. He's been very hurt over the past few weeks. He doesn't speak, damnit he barely even eats."

"That's terrible. It's really sad. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault. Things happen it's part of life."

"Please could you tell him to call me?"

"I'll do so. Take care of yourself Claire. I'll have him phone you soon."

"Thanks Derek."

Later that night I got the call from Xavier.

"Hi, how you doing?"

"I'm fine and you? How's the new school."

"I'm good. It's great I've got loads of friends and my mom and Caleb have been so supportive."

"I'm glad. Look I'm kind of busy. I have to go."

"Xavier...I love you. Please call me soon."

"I will Claire, goodbye."

And the line went dead. Before him everything was so simple so easy but after well there's just after. Temptation can be bitter sweet but bitter and sour at the same time.

Worst thing is I said I loved him and he didn't say it back. He phoned but barely spoke. Well guess we're done for good this time.

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A/N

So that's the end of it all. My heart aches because just like every author I formed a personal connection with these characters. I fell inlove with their story and I'm proud of how it all unfolded up to this point.

I'm sad that it had to end but all good things have to come to an end eventually. I hope you enjoyed the story and feel free to comment and share

-Daydreamer2k01