Embracing Sunshine (Completed)

"Secrets and Surprises 3"

"bagay sayo, mas lalo kang naging gwapo sa paningin ko" I said to Francisco habang nasa harap ito nang salamin. Nakasuot kasi ito nang light blue long sleeve polo getting ready for work.  He look so neat just like what I saw on his old photos.

I giggled when I saw him blushed. Naalala ko tuloy ang unang gabi ko sa bahay nya noong hinampas ko sya nang baso. The first time I told him na gwapo siya and how he blushed with my word.

Hayyy... Parang kahapon lang. Who would have thought na magiging ganito kami ngayon.

He snickered and gave me a hug. Parang gusto ko syang papakin. Napaka papable kasi. Napaka bango.

Hmmmm.... Sininghot singhot ko pa.

"Baka maubos ako nyan" he playfully said.

"Okay lang yan. Ako lang naman ang kakain at uubos sayo"

With that said he laughed huskily and gave me a deep kiss.

Hay, saya ko ngayon at ang sarap sarap pa nang Asawa ko. Ganito kami araw araw. Joking and always teasing each other.

Maybe he have indeed moved on truthfully and I cannot be happier than I already am for him.

Finally, Francisco conquered his fear and decided to practice his profession . I can see that being a doctor is really his passion. Especially with kids, you can see how his eyes sparkle by their crazy remarks and antics.

Alam ko rin na gusto na nitong magkaanak pero hindi pa daw pwede sa kalagayan ko ngayon.

Somehow it made me sad but he has always been caring and assuring me na okay lang sa kanya  kahit 5 years from now pa raw kami magkakababy. He's not rushing it. He cares for my health.

That's why I love him more. He was always been understanding and patient with me.

_____

"Wala ka bang planong sabihin sa kanya?" Cole asked me. Were in the back of the hospital chilling and drinking our morning coffee. Being a doctor is very stressful yet fulfilling. We rarely have time for ourselves especially on duty. Pero kahit papano nakakahanap parin kami nang panahon para makahinga.

I shake my head as an answer to his question.

"No, I don't want to hurt her, alam ko na malulungkot lang sya. It's okay for me to grieve alone, I'll mourn for both of us huwag lang syang masaktan"

"She'll eventually find out Francisco, and she will be hurt more because we chose to hide it from her. Karapatan nyang malaman .... as a mother who lost her child"

Napahugot ako nang aking hininga. It's true, what Cole said is true but I cannot bring myself to tell her. Especially when she first woke up. Pano ko sasabihin? the reason she felt ill and fainted was not because of her sickness but because of our baby. Hindi nito alam na buntis ito and I do not want her to know about it.

Especially now that we lost our baby.

Because of the complications and of her surgery, she had a miscarriage.

She is still fragile. Very vulnerable and as much as possible ayaw ko syang masaktan.

Walang rason para malaman nito iyon ngayon. I firmly said to myself.

"If you call me selfish by hiding it from her then be it. I just don't want her to be get hurt. Ang importante hindi ito masakatan "

"You're not selfish. I may have done the same thing kung ako ang nasa kalagayan mo"

_____

Days, weeks and months passed simula noong operation ko. All is well. Somehow hindi na ako nahihimatay and it's great having a second chance to live. Laking pasalamat ko sa heart donor ko.

I really wanted to meet her. Yung kapatid nang may ari nang pusong ito. Naikwento sa akin ni Franciso ang mga nangyari at gusto ko sana syang makausap at magpasalamt. To assure her that I will take good care of the heart but after the operation hindi na ito nagpakita.

I don't know what really happened but Franciso told me that Madison and Cole might be a thing.

Ang hilig din naman kasing mag chismis at mag speculate nang Asawa ko.

I giggled. Kalalaking tao tsismoso.

Enough of that. Sa totoo lang ay kinakabahan ako ngayon. I'm currently outside a clinic waiting for my name to be called.

Almost a year na mula nang operation ko and honestly I've been feeling really great and really healthy for the past few months na sa tingin ko ay okay na siguro. Panahon na siguro.

I have been weighing the prons and cons of my situation and later come to a conclusion.

So I have decided...

I'll try my best to be pregnant this year...

I know this is what I wanted. This is what Franciso wanted. My family and Tita Amanda  is already dying for a grandchild. Kahit hindi nila sinasabi alam ko na gusto nila.

We have been very careful and cautious para hindi ako mabuntis. I have been taking contraceptive for a while now and I'm just counting days para itigil iyon.

Para makabuo.

I have asked Cole about this at okay naman na daw. Everything is stable and everything is well.

"Mrs. Guerrero your turn" I took a deep breath and smile.

Magpapabuntis ka pa lang. Hindi ka pa manganganak. Kalma lang bes.

I greeted the smiling doctor when I opened the door and that somehow made me feel relaxed. Para kasi itong nanay ko. She might be in her late forties as well.

"Hi good morning" I shyly said.

"Good morning Elaine, it's good to see you well"

"Opo salamat po"

"Take a seat, so what brings you here?"

I explained to her my intention of coming and that as well my condition.  She just listened and throughout the conversation she was just smiling kaya naisip ko na wala naman sigurong magiging problema.

"You might not remember me but I did a D&C to you while you were in coma and I'm glad to see your doing fine now and would like to try again" Sabi nito pagkatapos kung magkwento.

"Yes po, I'm glad that the operation went well. Hindi nga ako makapaniwala na after kung lumabas sa hospital ikakasal na po pala ako agad" I said smiling remembering what happened but something intrigued me that I felt I need to ask.

"Uhmmm, Doc, what's D&C. Yung sakit ko po Kasi ay sakit sa puso. My sub specialization ka po ba?"

"D&C is Dilation and curettage. Its removal of part of the lining of the uterus and contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping. Alam mo yung pag nakunan ka may mga tissue na naiwan sa loob nang uterus mo na kailangang linisin, that's what D&C is and that's what I did when you miscarried while in coma" she said calmly like a teacher explaining to her student.

Ako naman ay napatanga lang sa kanya katulad nang feeling na tinatry mong e decipher ang algebra solution sa blackboard?

Wala akong maintindihan