Embracing Sunshine (Completed)

"I love Yous and Nos 2"

Napatulala sya. Natigilan. Francisco is still smiling at her waiting for her to respond.

Ano ba ang sasabihin nya?

She analyze her own feelings and realizing her own feelings she instantly felt like crying. She had to admit, nahulog na ang loob nya dito. She will be lying to herself kung sasabihin nyang hindi nya ito mahal.

I love you. Paulit ulit na naririnig nya sa kanyang subconscious mind. It should be the most wonderful word a person can receive. Imagine being loved by the person you love? Hindi ba masaya?

Parang gusto nyang e mock ang sarili at sabihing! Palakpak naman diyan!

Pero kaya nya bang maging selfish? For her to be happy and experience being love by a man na alam nyang masasaktan nya lang? Lalo na kapag malaman nito ang totoong kondisyon nya? she knows she will never be truly happy if in the end she will still hurt him. He had his share of painful experience. Can she put him through the same agony again?

Alam nya hindi nya kaya.

With all these thoughts, with all the things she needs to consider and how the stress is eating her , her heart started to ache.

"I am sorry" iyon lang ang nasabi niya kay Francisco after a long silence.

"What do you mean?" Pain, Panic, fear and disbelief . Iyon ang nakikita nya sa mukha nito. She wanted to approach him, gusto nyang bawiin ang sinabi and tell him she love him but she had to stop herself from doing so .

This should be for the better.

"Hindi kita gusto" then again her heart continued to ache. She started to pound it. God! She forgot her medicine.

Walk away , walk away. Sabi nang kanyang utak.

She turned her back on him and indeed started to walk away. Clutching her chest to remedy the pain.

"You're not good at lying are you" sigaw sa kanya ni Francisco. Hinabol sya nito at inabot ang kamay para pigilan . "You kissed me! Goddamit! I swear I felt something different . Something magical. I swear I know you felt it too"

"You thought wrong. Wala akong naramdaman na kahit ano!" iwinaksi nya ang kamay nito at nagsimulang maglakad ulit.

The pain on her heart is persistent. Nakikisabay sa sakit na nararamdaman nya. How she wished she could tell him she felt wonderful. That it was really magical.

Tears streaming down her face. She took her phone and called Cole. With all the emotions she is putting herself through, she knows this can be fatal.

"Don't walk away from me. Ganon nalang ba yun? You walk in in my life unannounced. Wreaking havoc in my sanity and life and just decide to walk out? I never thought you could be so cruel Elaine" pasigaw na sabi sa kanya ni Francisco still following her.

She had a tight grip on her phone like it is her life line. Doon nya binubunton ang sama nang loob.

"Cole help me! My chest hurts, I can't breath" Alam nyang mag aalala ito sa kanya but he is the only person she can turn to.

"Where the heck are you Elaine"

pasigaw naring sabi nito. Alam nyang nagpapanic na ito. She told him the address and told him to hurry.

"Do you love him?" Mahinang tanong ni Francisco sa kanya. Gone was the anger and range at pumalit dito ay lungkot at dusa.

He's eyes like pleading please don't say you love him. Suddenly his insecurities are visible on his handsome face.

Hindi, Hindi ko sya Mahal. Ikaw ang Mahal ko. Gusto nyang sabihin. Alam nang puso nya na ito ang gusto nitong sabihin pero iba ang lumabas sa mga labi nya. Hindi nya gustong sabihin pero dapat.

"Oo mahal ko si Cole, don't mistake my kindness for love. Kaibigan Kita. Importante ka sa akin. Pero hindi kita gusto gaya nang akala mo"

"But you kissed me back, you could have pushed me yet you didn't"

"Alam ko mali ako, I'm sorry"

"Maybe I assumed too much, nabigla lang siguro ako, maybe I was to overwhelmed with the situation. Maybe I took your pity as love. Mali rin siguro ako, how can I love you in just days? You are a good person, maybe I mistook it as love but the truth is it was all just a feeling of gratitude. You were my saviour, you made me smile, talk sense for my anguish and misery. Maybe this is just a bunch of indebtedness piling up making me feel something for you. I'm sorry too. Forget that I said I love you, I was only confuse" He said in a cold manner. Trying his best not to show any of his emotion anymore.

Mali nga siguro syang akalain na may damdamin din ito para sa kanya.

He stopped talking. Yeah at least he can salvage his pride. He did not meant any of those of course. He was so sure of what his feeling for her when he kissed her. Everything felt right pero pagpipilitan mo pa bang mahal mo sya kung tinataboy kanaman nya?

"I wish your happiness with Cole" then he turned his backed on her and walk away.

Elaine stood on the same place for a while. Tears flooding her eyes. Pain hammering her heart.

Wala syang pinagsisihan sa nangyari. The kiss. The confrontation and the lies. Alam nyang para din ito kay Francisco.

_____

NAGmamadaling hinanap ni Cole si Elaine pagdating sa lugar na sinabi nito.

"Elaine" he shouted. Where the heck is she. His anxiety is killing him.

Lakad sya nang lakad. Here to there. Kinuha nya ang cellphone para tawagan sana ito nang mahagip nang tingin nya si Francisco. Anger overcome his rationality and he rushed to him, grabbed his collar by force and shouted to his face.

"Where the hell is she? I swear if something happens to her God forbids but I will kill you!"

Franciso just stayed silent not struggling nor arguing. He let him go kasi parang wala naman syang makukuhang matinong sagot dito.

Mukha kasi itong wala sa sarili.

Nilibot nya ulit ang paningin sa lugar and thank goodness he saw Elaine just meters away from him. He rushed immediately to her and his heart broke when he saw her crying.

Right away he hugged her. Patted her back and comfort her.

"Shhh... Don't cry. Calm down I am here now. How are you feeling?"

"I broke his heart Cole. When he told me he loved I swear gusto kung sabihin na gusto ko rin sya pero alam kung hindi pwede. I'll only hurt him. I should have listened to you" still sobbing and still crying. Her tears wetting his shirt pero wala syang pakialam.

Nasaktan sya at nabigla sa pag amin ni Elaine na may gusto ito kay Francisco pero mas nasasaktan syang nakikitang naghihirap ito.

She keeps on saying words, talking about what happened then in just a snap of a finger she stopped talking. no sobbing. No crying. Lumupaypay ito. Like jelly, nawalan ito nanglakas para tumayo and within seconds nawalan ito nang malay.

He wasted no time and carried Elaine. Buti na lang at ambulance ang dala nya. When she called him, he knows she's in danger. Her voice was writhing with pain.

He passed Francisco and left a warning "Stay away from her"

Then in seconds they are already inside the ambulance on the way to the hospital.