A shocking little love ( Derek Morgan X Reader)

21: i wish i was

"Damn" I whispered.

"What," Rossi asked.

"He just turned her world upside down, he left her alive and she woke up to her parents and little sister died and now she's 16 having her female insides removed because of how bad he raped her. She won't have a normal sex life and she'll never have kids of her own. This may sound morbid but the other girls were lucky he just killed them" I said.

"So it's better to die than to overcome something hard?" Derek said.

"She can overcome it I'm sure I'm not saying she can't but she just lost her whole family and so much more," I said glaring at him.

"Seems like your saying she'd be lucky if she just died".

"She's gonna wish she was dead when she comes out of surgery and I can promise that," I said.

"Alright let's get back to the case," Rossi said.

"Yes let's be professional," Hotch said.

We got off the jet and Rossi and I went to the hospital to speak with the new victim.
"Rossi I think I should talk to him alone, maybe a man in there isn't so good for her right now" he agreed and I went in.

"Hi Becca, my name is Y/N. I'm with the FBI and I was wondering if I could talk to you maybe hang out for a bit" her eyes got watery and she nodded yes.

"So Becca can you tell me about yourself? What do you like the do?" I asked.

"I'm a cheerleader for my high school," she said.

"I was a cheerleader as well," I told her.

"An FBI agent used to be a cheerleader?" She asked.

"Well, I was until I was well your age and I quit," I said looking down.

"Why did you quit?" She asked.

"I lost my parents in a tragic accident," I told her.

"Oh".

"But hey we are here to talk about you. Can you tell me anything about the attacker?" I asked her.

"He wasn't wearing a mask, he was a white man, he looked almost like he was high and a smelled of beer," she said crying.

"You know what that tells me?"

"What".

"It tells me he didn't care if y'all saw him, he wanted you all dead, and the fact that your alive means he made a mistake and you're one lucky girl," I said.

"Lucky? How is losing my parents and my baby sister lucky? I wish I died with them" she said crying.

"I know how you feel Becca I do."

"HOW?" She yelled.

"Because I may have not been raped when my parents were killed but I know what it's like to go through something traumatic and come out the other end wishing I was dead. Because a little over a month ago I was kidnapped by my childhood best friend and she did this to me" I said pulling up my sleeves. "The ones my on legs are much worse and the one on my stomach almost killed me, I wished it did, I said horrible things about my friends and family and the man I love so she wouldn't hurt them. And when I made it to the hospital and thought I died on the table I wished I did, the man I love doesn't look at me or touch me the way he used too, I feel pain every time I close my eyes. I see knives cutting across my bare skin every time I sleep and I wished I'd died in the basement, I wish they had found me dead and today I still wish they did. So I get it. And I will do everything I can to find this guy" I told her.

She hugged me. "Will you help me through this? Will you help me be okay?"

"I don't know that I can if I can't help myself but I can try," I said hugging her back.

I let her lay down and walked outside the room and saw Derek and was mortified.

"Rossi and I switched," he said then walked away looking so sad.

"Derek wait"

"Wait on what? You just told her that right now you wished I had found you dead. Damnit Y/N do you know what it did to me coming down to the basement to you barely breathing? How do you think it would've been if I found you dead? Hell, what about Rossi? The last thing we would've ever heard you say is you hate us all? Wtf Y/N? If you want to be rid of us so bad then leave. I won't apologize for being scared to touch you. I won't apologize for loving you so much it hurts me to see those scars and not wanna kill someone." He said and stormed off.

Why am I such a ducking dumb ass, he wasn't supposed to hear that. I called Hotch and told him I had to fly back to Virginia and he let me.

I went to the hotel and got my stuff and slipped a note under Derek's door, I left and got a flight to Virginia. When I got to Virginia I packed my stuff and left Dereks then left Virginia.

A/N: home crapppp did you just blow everything up??? Nooo wayyy.