GOSH he is TALL 2 || Herophine

ғᴏᴜʀᴛʏ-ғᴏᴜʀ: ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋ

Hero's Pov

I really can't understand my own feelings while I'm still sitting on the edge of the bed with my hands through my hair.
The soft light of the hotel nightstand is enlightening Jo's face.
She's sleeping all curled up in herself turned on her right side and her both hands under the pillow.

I can't stop thinking what she been through and still going through.
I travel back to the last Christmas holidays, she was so strange, this much strange that I was doubting her and her fairness.
I think about the many times that I woke up and finding the other side of the bed empty and the horrible feeling that every time left a bitter aftertaste on my chest.

I remember how I felt the day that she told me that she basically broke up telling me that she needed time.

God just to the thought of it I can go through the overwhelming feeling that I felt that day but now it's all so clear.
She needed time to take care of herself.
Then I think about the time that I saw her hug Jacob then about when she came to London and nearly made me have an heart attack when I saw her in my living room.

Bloody hell, the way I treated her that day.

I literally didn't looked at her in the face.
Then the way Mercy and I treated her especially the sketch about his grandpa, Jesus Christ I feel so bad.
To not talk about the many times that I joked about her being lazy and a baby every time that I catches her sleepy on the couch or when she couldn't open a bottle of water.

How I couldn't understand that she was sick?

I also insisted to her to drink some vine to be sure that she wasn't hiding me a pregnancy while that sip was like poison for her kidney.
I think about how many times she told me "it's not like you think" or about how many times she asked me to squeeze the lemon for the salad.

I get closer to her carefully and I move a stroke of hair from her face watching her sweaty forehead, red cheeks and relaxed face expression.

So much is going on inside of me.

A part of me is angry with her because she hided everything to me, ran away from me when she needed me next to her holding her, hugging her when she was feeling low, offering a shoulder where she could cry and giving her kisses to make comfort her.
The other side of me is feeling so bad for how I treated her an scared to lose her.

What if she vote even worst and- shit no.
I don't want to think about it.
She can't.
God can't. We didn't had enough time.
He can't.

I feel so powerless.
I promised to myself to do everything in my power to make her happy and feel loved.
Unfortunately this isn't in my power.

If I knew all this I surely do not started to film for sure.
What type of humans are behind the production of this movie?
Who they can look at her not thinking what she's going through and about her health conditions.

I look at her angelic face cupped by her golden hair and then I explode in a cry.
I try to be the most silent possibly while my tears are rolling through my cheek, my heart is in flame and my chest is bleeding.

I'm scared, I'm fucking scared.
I can't lose her.

We talked to getting married, get a house for our own, to built a family.
She said she wants at least two girls and a boy that can be their big brother that is always ready to protect them.

I'm literally sobbing, gasping through my tears.
Now I get it why she hided all this.
She knew that I was going to react like this and this isn't a good thing for her.
«Hey Hey Hey.» I hear jo and when I turn in her direction she already hugging me caressing the back of my hear and whispering a "shh" swinging a little bit like we do with kids to calm them down.
«It's alright.» she says while my tears are running on her naked shoulder.
«I'm sorry.» I say hiccuping.
«For what?» she asks with her head hided on the back of my neck.
«For everything and this. This is the last thing that you need to see: me crying.» I say.
«Baby, you're also human.» she comforts me.
«I know but I'm doing what you was scared of.» I say hiccuping while now I'm angry with myself.

What type of man am I?

I should be her rock and not cry in front of her.
«Baby is completely normal. To be honest I was doubting that you care about me." she says and then I lean back to look at her face.
«I could nev-» I try to say.
«Hey, I was joking!» she says giggling while I can see her sadness in her eyes so I promise myself that this is the last time that I cry in front of her.
«It wasn't funny.» I say wrapping my arms around her waistline again appreciating the warmth of her body.
«I'm sorry if I can't be funny like you.» she says giggling.
«You're the most funniest person but that was a fail.» I say kissing her hair.
«Were going through this together okay?» I ask her.
After a bit of silence she says an «Okay»
«I love you baby.» I whisper her placing my forehead on hers.

«I love you even more.» she says kissing my neck while I'm trying to bring back my breathe to normal and think to what we'll be doing next.

𓆉𓆉𓆉

N/A: Hello my bbys!
I'm back! I know is short but this needed
to be short and all concentrated on Hero's
thoughts.
Hope y'all love this and I hope to read some comments!
Love y'all. Don't forget to vote please ♥️
Pls if you have Twitter, tweet about this!
Stay safe!
-Valentina