Movie Stalking

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This is during winter

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(Nondespair AU)

"Wait so let me rephrase that correctly." said Tsumugi, putting her hands to her head."THE Shuichi Saihara asked Kokichi out on a date." said Tsumugi."Yup, hard to believe it, but he finally got around to saying it." said Kaede, placing a chip in the guacamole and then taking a bite out of it."I mean I don't say that I love that to happen, but it's just surprising!" said Tsumugi, putting her hands up in the air and Kaede nodded."Uh, I know that you guys are talking about something right now. But would you guys mind getting the fuck out of my house?" asked Rantaro.

"Listen here mister, when you have a house in which 95% of your furniture consists of something avocado related. You have no right to judge what topic we are talking about." said Kaede as she laid back on the avocado colored beanbag."Yeah like what the fuck? Your bed is the shape of an avocado. Heck your rice cooker even has avocado stickers decorating it!" exclaimed Tsumugi."And it's also green." commented Kaede, taking a bite out of another chip."Yeah, but you don't need to discuss your schemes and gossip about stuff under my roof. My roof, my rules." said Rantaro as he crossed his arms and sent a glare at the two girls who were eating chips and (his crushed family) guacamole.

"As if a future diva has any rules. Besides! We even claimed your avocado billboard and used up all of the avocado magnets!" said Tsumugi."YOUR PAPER IS EVEN GREEN! LIKE EVER HEARD OF WHITE?!" exclaimed Kaede as she held up her Plan M paper that was printed from green paper."Honestly, your obsession with this has already become a damn meme. Hey, why don't you go and dress up as an avocado suit and entertain the masses." said Tsumugi as she showed Rantaro a photoshopped picture of Rantaro in an avocado suit.

"C'mon Tsumugi! We're being sidetracked! Plan D is already in action!" exclaimed Kaede as she patted Tsumugi's shoulder to get the human's attention."Wasn't plan D the sex?" questioned Rantaro."No of course not silly! That's Plan S, Plan D is date." said Tsumugi."Yeah what can D even stand for?" asked Kaede as she giggled to herself. Rantaro opened his mouth to answer that, but decided to close it.

"Well where are they meeting?" asked Tsumugi."How the hell am I supposed to know?! Shuichi just said that he was going on a date with Kokichi AND he needed dating advice!" said Kaede."And what did you tell him?" asked Rantaro."Well I was about to say 'Just whip it out', but then we'll need Kokichi's consent so I passed that and just replied with 'Kokichi likes you being yourself. So, just try and stay chill, buy him some flowers, and be sweet.'" said Kaede.

"And let me guess, Shuichi became a nervous wreck after you said that." said Tsumugi."I swear if they were doing stuff behind my back and Kokichi or Shuichi never told me, I'll commit pp chop." grumbled Rantaro."You're going to chop off your own dick?" asked Tsumugi, raising an eyebrow."No, I'll be chopping off Shuichi's." said Rantaro."WELL HOW THE HELL IS KOKICHI ABLE TO GET PREGNANT THEN?!" exclaimed Kaede."MEN CAN NOT GET PREGNANT!" retaliated Rantaro."Say that to all the mpreg fanfictions I read and the gacha community." said Tsumugi.

"The hell is the gacha community?" asked Kaede and Rantaro groaned and said "I have no fucking idea, probably something otaku related that we'll never understand.""Oh, and by the way Rantaro, I can make Kokichi pregnant by making him take a pill and then make them frick." said Kaede."Please tell me that you're lying." groaned Rantaro."Nope!" said Kaede as she reached inside of her pocket and then grabbed out a pill with a heart on one side."You got that from fucking Miu didn't you?" said Rantaro, his mood decreasing.

"I'm not going to answer that question." said Kaede as she jumped up to the air and said "Alright! So let's all monitor on how Plan D is going!""I seriously think you guys are overdoing it." commented Rantaro, but before he could say anything else, the 2 girls had already ran out of his house and most likely were going to go and stalk them. Rantaro decided to just follow them so that they won't be doing anything stupid.

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