Dark Days (BillxDipper)

XXV

AN: full credit to the artist ~ Also the only decent picture I could find with the three of them :) ~~

     I had slept peacefully, there was a dream or two but I don't remember them but I know they were normal and that's all I care about. Not a trace of Bill that I remember. Mabel tries to act normal for me and I'm grateful considering I'm doing the same. I occasionally catch a worried glance from her and feel my stomach drop but I push the feeling away and just hug her whenever I get a chance. She obviously finds it strange, but doesn't question it, hugging me back just as hard and I'm glad. I just want to make as many happy memories as I can with what time I have left and I'm determined to keep Bill out of mind, so far I've been mostly successful. I don't want any images of him while I make these last memories with my friends and family. I don't want him tainting my last days. 

     Though I couldn't help but process the memory from 700 years ago. I remember feeling so angry and ashamed of myself for sacrificing myself the way I did when Bill told me what happened. But after the experience of the memory, I think I understand now why I did what I did, I had asked myself How could I do that? How dare I do that... But as I thought about it, remember the hallucination he put me through in the memory... If he was doing that to everyone around the world, tormenting people with such vicious visions and horrors, for years... Being the only person capable of breaking his spells, how could I not do something? How could I not put an end to the hell that had consumed every single person's mind... Mabel's mind... I think, knowing what I do now, had I done nothing when I was capable of doing something, I'd be so incredibly ashamed of myself, and there wouldn't have been a world left to save before long. I wouldn't even exist today, Mabel wouldn't, everyone would be dead and consumed. I know I did the right thing, despite the horrendous circumstances, despite what I now have to endure with Bill constantly having crept into my head.

     I knew what I was going to do going to Bill that day, I knew I would be dead, nonexistent even, I knew then that my soul would vanish from the world, wiped clean, I didn't know that there would be some incredibly rare exception and a scrap of me would continue to exist and reform. I wonder if the me from 700 years ago did something similar to what I'm doing now, trying to make memories and spend every single second I could with those that I love. But then again, Bill had captured my sister to draw me in, so maybe I didn't even have a chance to do that. It makes me hate him even more. 

     "Dipper!" Mabel's voice shakes me from my thoughts and I turn to her as she walks into the kitchen where I'm standing making dough for cinnamon rolls. I had gotten lost in thought and forgot what I was doing. I wonder how long I had been standing there staring at the counter... "You're up early today" She says with a wary smile, unsure of the circumstances of my early rise. "Yeah, I wanted to make breakfast" I say and smile at her, a genuine smile. I was happy to see her, her presence makes me relax and I feel a good mood slowly start to seep in and my stomach flutters with sprouting joy. Bill and the life I sacrificed already drifting far away from my mind. I think today's going to be a good day. 

     "Oh? What are you make- ARE THOSE GOING TO BE CINNAMON ROLLS!?!?!" She gasps eyeing the cinnamon and the start of the dough on the counter. Her eyes sparkling and the wariness leaves her instantly and I smile at that. "Yup, and homemade frosting" I add with a laugh, She claps her hands together and jumps a little in place. It's been a while since I cooked or baked and it feels good to be doing it again. "Wait! Stop what you're doing right now, don't move!" Mabel shouts, a wide smile spreading on her face. I raise my brow at her but do as she says, lifting my hands in the air. Mabel darts away to her room. I peek my head around the kitchen entryway in the direction she disappeared to. I hear her crashing around a little and shouting something. Then she pops back up in my view.