Stories Focussed On Spider-Man

Adulting 103

Info: Part 3 to the "Adulting" arc.1

“Wanda, look out!” Spider-Man hollered as he noticed one of the robots they had been fighting was about to get the jump on her. A barrage of webs immobilized her current opponent so she could focus on the fiend behind her. She quickly dismantled the droid.

“Thanks, Spider-Man,” she yelled back once she was safe.

“No problem, the idea of a dead Wanda Maximoff isn’t very appealing anyways,” he grunted as he threw one of the mechanical menaces back. Wanda smiled to herself. Spider-Man didn’t want her dead! Which, she doubted he would if he didn’t have parental instincts, but still! It had to count as a win, right? What was she thinking? Of course that counted as a win!

“Spider, twelve o’clock!” Natasha warned a few minutes later as she stabbed her own attacker and moved onto the next. 

Spider-Man grunted out a guttural response as he hefted the huge machine and sent it flying into its companions. He noticed one coming up behind the assassin and swiftly attached a web to it,  yanking it away. “Oh no you don’t,” he muttered whilst completing the action. Several Star Wars references later, the trio had disabled all the droids. 

“Nice training session, Avengers,” Captain America said with a clap and a broad smile on his face. “I knew you three would make a great team.” Spider-Man was pleased that he wasn’t addressed separately, seeing as he technically didn’t count as an Avenger. “Go grab some water while the next set gets in position.” Before anyone could move a muscle, Spider-Man webbed three water bottles their way and handed them out.

Natasha nodded her thanks, slightly fatigued from the workout while Wand chirped out a quick, “Thanks, Dad!” and strolled over to the elevator to go take a shower, completely unaware of the fifteen year old teenager who froze in place.

“Congratulations,” Natasha chuckled, noticing his internal freak out. “Wanda thinks of you as a father.”

“Wh-what?” he sputtered. “She-she-what?”

Clint, who had finished his session before them, but had stuck around to cheer on his best friend, came up and gave the vigilante a hearty pat on the back. “Welcome to the Dad Squad, Webs.”

“But, I’m not ready to be a father,” he hissed.

Clint chuckled. “None of us were, I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Great. I’m a fifteen year old with an eighteen year old ‘daughter’. Perfect. “I can’t do this, Wanda should look up to someone better.”

“Relax, you’re not on your own,” Clint smirked. “She has a mother figure as well.”

Spider-Man gulped. Was he really going to keep up this whole ‘adult’ charade? “Who?”

“That would be me,” Natasha sighed. “Which is probably why she tried to set us up. Which means if we go through with messing up our next little ‘date’, it’ll crush her.”

“This is so wrong. Wanda’s old enough to be my sister!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah, but you’re still her senior. She just chose to look up to you in a fatherly manner rather than a brotherly manner,” Natasha explained. “Besides, I’m only too old to be her sister by a couple of years.” This wasn’t going in the direction he wanted it to go. He had two options at this point: reveal his age to them or take on a surrogate daughter. Screw logic.

“I’ll try my best, but I doubt it’ll be enough,” Spider-Man sighed, throwing his head back.

“That’s all we can ask for, Webs,” Clint grinned, giving the web-slinger another pat. “I’ll text you the details about the Dad squad later.”

“R-right, thanks.”

“You’ll be great,” Natasha reassured, tucking a loose strand of hair back into her low ponytail. “I know you’ve lost all your father figures over the years, but I think you’ll do Wanda well. Maybe you could take her on patrol sometime? She seems curious about that.”

“Thanks for the suggestion. I, uh, should probably call my friend and tell him the news.”

“Might want to talk to that girlfriend, too.”

“Y-yeah. See you later.” Spider-Man walked off, his entire body tense. He quickly left Stark Tower via scaring the crap out of pedestrians by jumping off before they realized that it was a superhero, not a civilian. He swung until he was several buildings away before landing neatly on a quaint building and whipping out his phone, dialing Ned.

“Peter-Man! What’s up, my dude?” Ned greeted on the other end of the line.

“Ned, I don’t know how to say this,” Spider-Man frowned.

“You better not be bleeding out in an alley.”

“No! No! It’s, uh, not that. Y’know how we thought it was funny how everyone thought I was an adult? It’s coming back to bite me in the butt,” Spider-Man groaned.

“Are you going to give details, or…?”

“Wanda sees Nat as her mom, right? Apparently she sees Spider-Man as her surrogate father. She also tried to set us up last week. My superhero social life is literally crashing and burning around me. Ned, I’m fifteen. I’m not cut out to mentor Wanda or swoon the Black Widow!” he whined. “I don’t know what to do!”

“Let’s talk to MJ about it at lunch tomorrow.”

“You think she’ll know what to do?”

“I think she’s going to want to draw your face when you explain the situation. You know how she is. But, you never know, she might have some advice?”

“This is a disaster,” the hero sighed. He glanced around. “I’m gonna go, I think I smell smoke.”

“Okay, be safe. Bye.”

“I will. See you tomorrow.” Spider-Man hung up, slipping his cell phone back into his boot. Alert, he straightened out his posture and looked around, mentally preparing himself to dart into a fire “Karen? Where’s the smoke coming from?” The was a pause as the AI calculated the quickest route before directions appeared in his lenses. Flinging himself from the building he was perched on, he flung himself off into the evening, mentally calculating a better filtration system to install into his mask.

A/N I feel like this has mentally become my new "Moma Bear" ngl.😂 I like it just a lil bit too much!