Stories Focussed On Spider-Man

Birthday? More Like 'Attempted Kidnapping!'

Info: MJ knows Pete is SM, the Avengers don't...

For Peter, it was supposed to be a date with MJ. For the Avengers, it was supposed to be Bucky's birthday dinner. For HYDRA, it was supposed to be an easy retrieval. But, nothing went according to plan that night.

It all started when Peter ordered an eight ounce sirloin. He had been saving up for the nice date for a while and it was finally coming to pass. The night was going to be perfect. Or, he hoped it would be. He, erm, he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up.

Anyway, their waiter wasn't really an actual waiter. They got a freaking HYDRA spy, which immediately set off Peter's senses. However, he was determined to have a nice evening with his girlfriend and decided to postpone worrying about their potentially sketchy staff. That was definitely a huge mistake.

The HYDRA infested kitchen staff put some sedatives in the neighboring Avengers' food. It wasn't enough to knock them out and draw attention to the horrid ongoings that they had planned, but it was enough to prevent the heroes from resisting capture. Too bad they didn't realize another hero was in the building. Well, not really - HYDRA was an evil organization. It was good that they didn't succeed.

Their bad luck began to show after they made their move. The chemicals they had laced the Avengers' food with had taken full effect, noticeably slowing down the dinner conversation. A waiter emerged and found their table, discreetly placed the end of a gun on the small of Bucky's back, causing him to stiffen ever so slightly. His mind was foggy, but it downed on him that they had been poisoned when he finally took note of the expressions on everyone's faces. Coming to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to escape the attack in the state he was in, he did the next best thing: screaming for help. He knew he wouldn't get shot since he was needed alive, at least he hoped.

Agents streamed out of the kitchen, prepared to put and end to anyone who considered opposing their operation. MJ and Peter found themselves crouched under their table. MJ sighed. "Can't we have one date where SM doesn't have to make an appearance?"

"Sorry, MJ," Peter murmured sheepishly, "I was looking forward to a normal date, too. I'm not even wearing my web-shooters!"

MJ pecked him on the cheek. "It doesn't look like you'll be able to make a costume change. Whatever you do, don't die. I can't date a dead man."

Peter had the audacity to send her a cocky grin before crawling out of the spot and rising to his feet. He yawned for effect, straightening his sleeves before glancing up to see twenty armed men and women jabbing their weapons in his direction. "Oh, hey. Are you guys trying to leave? You haven't even paid your bill!" In the most cliche move to ever exist, he accentuated his point by charging, dodging the barrage of bullets, and punching the waiter in the jaw, effectively knocking him out. Peter rolled his shoulders back a few times, winking at his hero friends. "You guys have horrible customer service. I might give you all your own individual reviews. Zero out of ten to all of you aside from the lady chef hiding in the corner. She gets a twenty out of ten for putting up with your crap." He flipped a table up to provide a buffer between the ammunition that was pelting his direction and charged, slamming two ladies into a wall so hard that cracks formed and they were rendered unconscious. He turned to a man with a blade. "For instance, your knives are too dull for steak." Sure enough, web-slinging a slab of meat at the man's head was enough to stun him while the teenager knocked him out. He made quick work of the remain sixteen goons, and no one other than the jerks were injured.

He probably could have gotten away with his identity in tact if he hadn't jumped to the ceiling to avoid getting shot at one point. Alas, the thought didn't exactly occur to him in the heat of the moment, leaving Peter panting slightly as stood next to his girlfriend, awkwardly wondering how he was supposed to get back to the date.

"Oh my gosh," he heard a civilian mumble, credit to his super hearing for that.

"Spider-Man?" Stark slurred, still sluggish due to the chemicals swirling around his system.

Peter panicked, his stomach resembling a swirling tornado, and his legs suddenly gaining the density of ravioli. "Spider-Man? Who's Spider-Man? I've never heard of this 'Spider-Man' you speak of! MJ, do you know who he's going on about?"

"Loser, you jumped on the ceiling. Save yourself the embarrassment," the girl sighed, picking slightly at her nails. She brought her head up and made eye contact with several Avengers. She snagged her purse from her seat and hefted it over her shoulder. "Don't feel bad about the crazy evening, everyone knows a little Netflix and chocolate makes for the best dates anyway."

Peter nodded. "You're not wrong, I just spent forever saving up so we could come here. I thought it'd be nice."

"And it was, I got to watch my boyfriend kick butt."

"Fair enough."

"Wait, back up!" Clint frowned. "Webs, you have a girlfriend?"

"Is that what you've taken away from the situation? Not that he's underage?"

"Yeah, I do. This is MJ."

There was a pause before the archer spoke. "But, I know for a fact you don't have any game. It's practically common knowledge that you can't flirt."

"He can't," MJ agreed. "Good for him, he doesn't need to. I have a thing for genius losers with no sense of self-preservation." Peter laughed and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before pulling out his phone to dial the police.