Stories Focussed On Spider-Man

Adulting 101

When most people think of the web slinging vigilante that runs around New York catching baddies and yelling one-liners, most just assume he’s a grown man with an abnormal sense of humor and a strong moral compass. Women day dream about him. Men wish they could be him. Kids look up to him and laugh along with his jokes. But, what no one knew, was that one of the three main assumptions made about him was completely and utterly wrong. Spider-Man was a teenager. Which meant a whole lot of awkwardness whenever he came across a woman who was ‘in love’ with him. Yeah, as flattering as it was, it definitely wasn’t one of the highlights of the job when some crazy fan asked him to marry her.

Granted, that’s all it ever was: fans. Never had a woman who he had a friendship with while he donned the spandex ever appeared to be interested in him romantically, which made his life a whole lot easier. That is, until that stopped being the case. If it had been Wanda Maximoff, he might’ve humored her and gone out on a date. The age gap certainly wasn’t big between them, not that anyone knew that. In fact, he had liked her like that in the past and developed a friendship with her. She often confided in him and came to him for advice. Usually, he would’ve done the same, but there wasn’t much he could ask for help about without giving out details of his civilian life. That’s how he unknowingly became a father figure as a teenager younger than the girl who viewed herself as his mentee. That’s also how he started getting shipped with Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow and the woman who Natasha viewed as her surrogate mother. Spider-Man’s friendship with Natasha certainly wasn’t strained, there was no way he would ever view her romantically. While it was also because of the age difference, he viewed her as a superhero mom, too. 

Which made it awkward when Wanda tried to set them up. 

“Hey, Spider-Man?” she asked one day while he was reading a book in the common room after having gotten stitched up from a bullet wound.

“What’s up, Wanda?” he asked, looking up from Catch Me If You Can. 

“Are you busy Friday night? Like, around seven?” she inquired.

The vigilante thought for a moment. “No, I think I’m free. Why?”

But, Wanda had already turned to Natasha. “Nat, what about you?”

“I’m free. What do you need help with?”

Once again, Wanda ignored her. “Great, I’m busy. Enjoy your date.” She quickly left the room so no one could protest.

Spider-Man went rigid. “I can’t go on a date with you,” he blurted. “It would be, like, super inappropriate.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Relax. We go on the ‘date’ to get Wanda off our case and tell her that we’re better off as friends. You don’t want to go through with this because you have a girlfriend, right? If she knows your Spider-Man, sit down and explain the situation. If it’s still a big deal to her, then we break it to Wanda that you aren’t single.”

“R-right, of course.” He wisely decided not to mention being single.

“You’re probably in the minority of people who would turn down a date with Natasha, Webs,” Clint, who had watched the entire exchange, snickered.

“You really don’t understand how inappropriate it would be if I went on a real date with her,” Spider-Man squeaked. 

Clint just chuckled. “Be honest. You’re afraid of accidentally hurting her and getting killed.”

“Look, Clint,” Spider-Man sighed, “don’t make assumptions about a topic you’re ignorant on.”

Friday came faster than Spider-Man would have liked. He had been texting Natasha about the plan to convince Wanda that they just weren’t a good match all week and he wasn’t feeling good about it. Especially since most of the pre-planned ‘date’ consisted of tense silence, which he wasn’t looking forward to. He made the mistake of mentioning needing to have it wrapped up by nine-thirty because of a gang meeting he was fixing to bust up and she invited herself along to postpone the inevitable conversation she would have to have explaining to Wanda why they weren’t a good pair. Plus, she had added, being out of the tower would give them an extra chance to go over the story so the mind-reader had a smaller chance of figuring out just how fake the faux evening was.

"Hey, Nat," Spider-Man greeted as he swung into the living room, where his 'date' had been waiting, like they planned.

"Hello, Spidey," Natasha greeted. They decided on eating at one of the restaurants inside the tower so that they didn't have to go anywhere. Tony had set Wanda up with video surveillance and she had an earpiece to communicate with her mother figure and listen in. That way, there would be no temptation later on to look inside their heads for details. Seeing as Stark insisted they used the upper class dining establishment, they were both dressed in formal wear. The vigilante had a suit on over his costume and the assassin was wearing a beautiful blue dress that matched the blue in the Spider-Man costume.

"Shall we?" the uncomfortable teen asked, extending his arm to escort her.

"Of course," she smiled, placing her arm in his own.

They entered the elevator and FRIDAY began to take them to their destination, soft classical music playing in the background. An awkward silence stretched between them. “Say something nice,” Wanda urged from her side of the computer. “Get a conversation going!”

Knowing she couldn’t disobey, lest she risk exposing her ulterior motive, she complimented her friend. “You look handsome tonight, Spider.”

Technically I don’t look handsome, my Spider-Man uniform and my suit look handsome, Spider-Man thought immediately. “Uh, thanks. You look pretty, too,” his tone was strained and awkward, which was an easy part of their plan.

And so the date commenced.

A/N there will be an "Adulting 102" coming out eventually. This arc has been what I've been working on at school recently and there's a couple twists I'm sure you'll see coming.