Awe - Harry Styles

(59) time apart

it's the way i love each and every one of you more than life for me.
olive

AMELIA ELAYNE MOORE

"How do you tell someone you don't want to spend as much time with them as you are?"

Megan is silent for a moment as we sit on my bed, I have a lollipop in my mouth as she has a chocolate bar in her lap. "Well, maybe you could get that therapist to tell him. Camren, is it?"

I nod, "It is Camren. But she told me to tell him. As if she didn't come up with the idea!" I fall back onto the bed with a sigh, "I mean, I understand what she's saying and I suppose I agree with it, but I don't want to stop spending time with him. I love him, ya know?"

"I know, so hard being in love with one of the hottest men in the world, isn't it?" Megan teases, and it's the first compliment I've heard her ever give to Harry, I think.

Growth.

I shoot her a glare, "Help me, please."

She rolls her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking, give me a second... what if you just say it? Like go to dinner or just right before bed, be like 'Oh yeah, by the way, that therapist you're paying for told me to stop seeing you. Love you.' That'll work."

Another glare goes her way, "Do you have any good ideas in that brain of yours? And she didn't tell me to stop seeing him, she just told me we shouldn't be seeing each other as much as we do now. There's a big difference."

"I suppose she's right." Megan tells me what I already know, "If you think about it, this is the first time you haven't been with Harry when one of you isn't working or at therapy. And I practically had to deadbolt the door for him to stop trying to come in."

I chuckle, remembering the fight Megan and Harry had over who would be spending alone time with me.

"She's my best friend and you've been stealing her away! Now shoo, go get some Botox, bitch." Megan tells him, pushing on his back towards the doorway as I lean again my bedrooms doorframe.

Harry digs his feet into the carpet of my living room, not moving an inch despite her using all her strength to try. "And she's my girl friend! You've know her longer which means you've had more time with her. S'only fair I get her first."

Megan looks to me, "You pick. Is it me, your best friend who has helped you through everything even when this dipshit broke up with you, or is it him, the dipshit that broke up with you?"

I raise my hands in surrender, "Don't involve me. I don't even understand why either of you are fighting over this."

Megan disregards what I said, turning her eyes back to Harrys back as she continues to push him. "Well, I think the answer is clear. And being the one who didn't break her heart, I get to stay."

"Hey!" Harry argues, "You don't get to use that against me, it's not fair!"

"What's not fair is the fact you're still inside this room. Leave, oldie."

"No, you leave... youngie?" I snort at Harry's attempt to come back at the nickname Megan gave him.

She looks to me again, "Really? You could've had anyone you wanted, and you picked the dumbass?" And back to Harry's back, "See, this is why I need to stay. So I can make sure her brain isn't fried from being with you for so damn long."

"Her brain is not fried!" Harry retorts, looking to me for help. "Cherry, pleeeease."

"M'sorry, baby. Megan and I need some time together, give us an hour."

"Or two!" Megan added as he finally let her push him through the doorway. I blew him one last kiss before he was gone.

Megan sighed, "Finally."

"But it's not like it's just him wanting to spend time together," I reason, "I want to spend as much time with him as I can as well. It was both of our ideas, not one-sided. That's what makes it so much harder, I'm going against something I want."

Megan frowned, "Well, I guess that's true. But you're doing something that's good for you, you can't forget that. And Harrys an understanding guy, he won't make a big deal out of it or anything."

"I suppose you're right."

"Lets move on from such dim topics and talk about the bitches I work with. Cathy just got married, but she's still fucking..."

••••••••

1 word to describe the way I feel right now is nervous.

And I don't know why I'm so nervous. I mean, it's not like I'm ending things with Harry or anything of that sort, I'm just saying we need to spend more time apart. In reality, I'm not even saying it, our therapist is.

But why couldn't she have told him? She could've said something during one of their sessions and make this go much easier, but in the end, I guess we would've had to talk about it anyway.

I just hate to be the one to break it up.

I sit on Harry's kitchen counter, swirling a lollipop stick in my mouth as he moves around the kitchen, making brownies.

He looks at me, softly smiling in adoration before frowning at the look on my face. "Cherry? You alright, my love?"

"Hm?" I come back to reality from my nervous thoughts, "Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine, are you alright?"

"I'm alright." He comes over to me, placing his hands on either side of my legs. "I'm alright as long as you are alright, and I have a feeling you're not really alright."

I shake my head, "I don't know what you're going on about. I'm fine." I shrug to try to play it off, not wanting to ruin the night but he knows me and he knows I'm lying.

"Cherry..." he warns kindly, "you said we'd talk about these things instead of bottling them up. S'not good to keep things to yourself, but if you really say you're fine..."

"Ugh, fine." I exasperate as he begins to walk away before giving me a knowing smile, knowing that he's gotten inside my head about it. "It's something my therapist said.."

He frowned, "Your therapist? Did she say something rude or anything? I'm sorry, I thought she was a nice person-"

I cut him off, "No, no, not anything bad like that."

"Then what is it?" He kisses my forehead softly, "I won't be angry with anything you tell me, you know that."

"She said we're spending too much time together." I blurt out, almost making the whole sentence sound like one word.

"Oh."