Awe - Harry Styles

(58) therapy

AMELIA ELAYNE MOORE

"Hi Cam." I greet as I walk into her room, taking a seat on the loveseat across from hers. Harry offers her a wave, blowing me a kiss before leaving us to our session alone.

She nods her head towards where he once stood, "He's still taking you here?"

I nod, "Yeah, I think he worries that I won't come or he just wants to spend the time with me, I guess. I've been trying to actually work more than I used to, it is my business after all."

"And that's good that you're focusing on your business and not leaving that on your roommates shoulders anymore. She seems as though she would never tell you to your face, but she's probably not enjoying running a business that's not hers."

I agree, "I know, and I am angry with myself that I let it all fall on her like that. Canyon Moon just completely slipped my mind, if I'm honest."

"And your grandmother? How's she doing?"

"She's sick."

Camren nods, knowing that I was hiding something from her and now she's found out what. "Do you mind me asking how sick she is?"

"I don't mind. She has pancreatic cancer, which only became noticeable in the late stages and there's not much they can do now. They said she only has a few months left.."

"Have you told anyone about this? Or are you keeping it to yourself?"

I don't wanna answer that simply because I know she'll know the real answer if I try to lie, and if I tell the truth she'll be disappointed in me.

But why would I want to tell anyone else? I don't want their pity and I don't want to think about it. Just like Harry did when his stepdad was sick, I just refuse to admit it to myself simply because then it doesn't seem so real.

I will have no family left.

"Well.. Mary doesn't have any family besides me, so there's no one else to tell." I half-lie, Mary doesn't have any other family left but I could tell my friends since they're close with her, I could tell the regulars that are her friends.. but I can't.

She throws me a pointed look, "Doesn't Mary have friends who should know? If I remember what you told me correctly, she ran that bar before you did so she must know most of the regulars who went there. Plus, it's always nice for you to reach out to your friends and the people you love so they can help you."

I ignore her first question, "I'm not the one who needs help, Mary is."

"She's all the family you have left, Amelia." Camren reminds me, "It's never wrong to ask for help, please remember that. I'm not forcing you to tell anyone anything, but just don't leave it out of the question, okay?"

"Okay." I respond, wanting to move to a new topic.

She notices this and changes the subject for me, "Now, how much time would you say you and Harry are spending together?"

"Well, he goes on tour in June, so we're trying to make up for all the lost time before then." I reply, not seeing an issue with it at all.

"How are you making up for the lost time?"

"He's been staying at my place or I go to his after I finish work, he's got minor trips for promo but he's never gone for more than two days. Sometimes I'll go to the studio or something with him during the day, or he'll be at the bar during the day. So basically any free time is spent with each other."

She sighs, "I thought that would be your answer.. look, Amelia, I've been Harrys therapist for a little while now and I would like to think I know the both of you very well, and as of right now, you both have a lot of faith in your relationship and a lot of love for each other."

"Is that a bad thing?" I interrupt.

Camren shakes her head, "No, the only way your relationship will work is if you both believe in it like you do, that's not the issue here. But, the last time you were both together, you were so attached at the hip. You barely had your own lives anymore, which made the break up so much harder for both of you."

She starts again as I go silent, widening my eyes at her words. "You fell into this whole of silence because while Harry helped you find your emotions, you didn't have to focus on them while you were with him because he made you so happy with his presence. So once that was gone completely, so was the happiness, in your mind."

"But Harrys not going to leave again, so it won't be an issue. I'm not sad like I was anymore, either."

"And I'm happy that you're not sad like that anymore, but once again, you're both leaning on each other for everything. I'm not saying that you're going to break up because you have a very strong relationship, but there's always that possibility out there. I don't want this to be a cycle for you, where you find happiness only in Harry's presence and once he's gone, you can't find it anymore."

I frown, "Well with these therapy sessions, won't I be able to function without him? Let's say he left me again, or I left him for some reason, isn't this therapy supposed to help me?"

"It is supposed to be help to you, yes. But I've seen many cases where people think just like you are, that they can keep repeating the same cycle and just add therapy into the mix and suddenly it'll change, and that's not true. I've been told by Harry what a happy person you are, and how happy you make those around you, but he also told me you changed when he returned. You lost that happiness."

"But you and Harry helped to give me that back." I finish.

Carmen nods, "But just as last time, your happiness is depending on Harry. Yes, I have helped to give you some of it back, but it was mostly Harry. You two need to separate from each other's lives a little bit before it's too late."

"What are you saying?"

"Spend some time apart."