To The Stars | JJK

Chapter 31.

Grace

Tears are staining my cheeks as I walk down the empty street.

I don't know where I'm going, I just know that I need to get away.

I did the right thing, it has to be the right thing.

I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted to tell him how I felt, I didn't want to lose him. But I did what needed to be done.

Sarah was right, about one thing, at least, my friendship with Jungkook has ruined the happiness they had. 

Clearly, he hadn't seen that, but after my breakup with Christian, I did.

I love Jungkook with all my heart, and I know he cares about me too, but I could tell he would never do anything to jeopardise our friendship, and neither would I.

But I can't look at him with a girl in his arms, not without wishing that were me.

And the same goes for his future girlfriends - they would not tolerate our friendship for long, because they would soon see how special it is.

Was.

It was so precious.

Tears spil harder.

I know I'm running away, I know I'm taking the coward's way out. But I can't help it, I can't face them.

At the thought of Sarah I have to stop walking in order to not fall to the ground. 

Slutty....my fault....rebound....

I can't clear my mind of her spiteful words.

I may have seemed confident back there, acting as if she wasn't throwing daggers exactly at my heart.

What is it was my fault? 

No! I shake my head, it wasn't my fault.

All I want now is for his strong arms to wrap around me and tell me it wasn't my fault, that I'm worth something.

But I still keep walking, walking far far away, despite every nerve in my body screaming at me to stop.

Jungkook

I don't go back.

I can't look at their faces. I can't deal with their worry right now.

That's why I get in the car and drive.

Away, just away, someplace where I will be able to hear my thoughts past the shattering of my heart.

I drive until I end up at the baseball field.

It's so quiet it's almost eerie. But this is exactly what I need.

Grace just asked me to let her go.

She thinks she has to sacrifice herself to make me happy.

How doesn't she see that she's what makes me happy.

But I'm lost. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what I want to happen. I love what we have now. Had...had.

I don't want to complicate it. Especially now knowing how she feels about me. I could ruin everything, that's why I couldn't tell her how I felt.

The cool grass under me and the stars above offer my thoughts a sanctuary. 

A deep sigh leaves me. I look up at the universe, searching for an answer.

The grass next to me rustles. I see a shadow lie down next to me.