MR. ZAYN

Chapter 23 ~ Regret

I have to go. I am coming dad. I can't survive in this cruel world anymore.

But then you appeared out of the blue. Zayn.

~~~ End of flashback ~~~

His name made me come back to reality again.
At least my mind was there but my body was too numb to push him away from me.

"Please stop." I tried but I only received a dark stare back. "I can use this scissors on your tongue as well." He spoke back.

I felt myself miserable and dirty. I wasn't able to protect myself just like in the past with my step father.

He made his way towards my legging and tore it in one go. I was only in my underwear now. Totally naked, I was totally naked.

Please damn body react please.
It was of no use, I was paralyzed.

He hovered over me while he unzipped his pants and undid himself from it. I saw his boxershort and something giant in there. The whole scene made me even more miserable.

"I don't want t..this.. P..please stop." I tried again.
"Shut up Jasmine!" He yelled while he smashed both of his hands against me.

"I will make you my woman today. I wanted it not be this way but you asked for it." He hissed in my ear.

"I..I am already your wife. Why making me your woman?" I tried.

"Wife right? Then know your duties as a wife. This baby, is also one of the duties of a wife." He smirked sinisterly at me.

He continued with what he was doing. His kisses became rougher and I felt the pain of the bites. He trailed of to my breast leaving his marks there as well. But my body, it did nothing. I was lying there stiff as a plank.

Why? Why do I have to go through this? Why do I suffer all the time?

Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt my cheeks getting wet. Looking at the ceilling I recalled the good moments in life. The good moments that I had when my dad was still alive.

All of a sudden he stopped looking me right in the eyes. His eyes softened and I saw regret in them. His jaw tightened as he sqeezed his fists.

~~Zayn POV~~

Her sniffing brought me back to reality. Only then I realised what I was doing.

What the f*cking hell are you doing Zayn!?
As I looked in her eyes I saw the pain that I was causing her.

What the hell have I done?
My eyes trailed of to her body. I was shocked, did I do this?

Yes you did it but you like it. Zayn continue. The devil spoke to me.

Kiss my arse you f*cking devil. I was beyond furious at myself I had caused her this much pain already and now this. It was the cherry on top of the cake.

I quickly got up and covered her with the duvet. Afterwhich I got into my pants again. I grabbed my shirt and walked towards the door. Her sniffing made me look back.

She was still staring at me. Damn I feel guilty.
"I..I'm sorry. This is not what I wanted to do." I said afterwhich I walked out of the room. 

"F*cking hell!" I internalley cursed at myself while I walked downstairs into the living room.

"James!"
James came running towards me.
"Yes boss! U..uh boss your shirt."
"Shut up!" I yelled. I was going crazy. The imgage of Jasmine lying like a plank beneath me with her teary eyes kept haunting me.

"How many people are in hell now?"
I asked.
"The big ones you mean?" I nodded while wearing my shirt.
"Luca, Antonio, and Allesandro."
"Good. Prepare my toys. I'm heading there."

"I'll come with y-"
"NO!! YOU ARE F*CKING STAYING HERE!!"

~~James POV~~

What's wrong with him? Never before have I seen him like this. Like yes he has shouted and cursed at me many times but this one was different. There must have been happend something very bad.

He inhaled and exhaled to calm himself. Something he always did to control his anger.

"Listen James, I'm heading to hell to take care of those three. As you know Allesandro is aware of where Giovanni is."

"No are you serious?"
"F*cking listen to me!"
"I'm going to kill Giovanni. I have waited many years and now it's time to do the work."

I wanted to ask a question but he hissed, "Shut up and listen. If I'm not back in two weeks, you are the one who has to take care of Jasmine. You James are the one who has to protect her with your life. Am I clear?" I nodded.

"But you will be back right?"
He just glared at me. "I don't know."

He walked towards the door banging the door for a last time with his fist, leaving blood drops on the floor.

I felt bad. I was the one who had to stay beside  him. Unfortunatly he won't let me. I got frustrated and punched the wall. 
"God damn it!"

~~Zayn POV~~

As I walked towards the door of hell, the imagine of Jasmine appeared in front of me. She was smiling. I loved her damn smile. I loved every part of her. Damn me, damn me. Little did she know how crazy I was about her.

Every part of me loved her unfortunatly the devil inside of me didn't like her.

You don't deserve her. You are a monster. There he was again, the devil.

Indeed I don't deserve her, I am a monster. I was raised to be a monster and I'll die as a monster one day.

She was an angel. After what I have done to her I am not even worth to look at her let alone having her.

I smiled bitterly at my fate.

"I love you my angel, but this devil will never love you."