something old, something new | taekook

Chapter 22: A Smile Worth A Thousand Worries

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There's something unsettling about the idea that he and Taehyung have actually fought about something.

It's almost a week and a half later and Jeongguk still feels a sense of not-quite-unease whenever he and Taehyung sit with the king's sword and the former king to plan. He knows Taehyung is aware- can see the obvious looks his fiance gives him when Jeongguk is too quiet- but he says nothing.

It makes him wonder, briefly, if maybe what they are planning is not the right choice. If Jeongguk's idea is the wrong one. But then Taehyung kisses his forehead before they sleep, still as tangled tightly together as ever. He holds him close and Jeongguk buries as close to his chest as he can, knee pushing between Taehyung's. There are no words but Jeongguk relishes in their closeness.

They aren't perfect right now, on edge and fragile, but he knows they're still one unit. He knows they're still on a path of eternity together and that eases the cut-glass edges of his anxieties. He knows they can slide into bed together even when things are uncertain because while their world is falling apart they aren't.

However, that realization does not get rid of his worries completely. That simple truth does nothing for them beyond simple comforts. His thoughts become a festering stew of self-doubt and he can see Taehyung's face crease with every self-deprecating thought that crosses his mind. Yet Taehyung stays quiet because they both know words will do nothing for his anxious thoughts.

It continues for days more- Jeongguk sulking around the halls of the Citadel.

He finds his need for comfort shifts as he drowns in his thoughts. Gowns traded for looser skirts and draping fabric that he bundles close to his chest. Covered and comfortable, easier to overlook. Of course, he knows he can never truly be invisible anymore but his change in demeanor seems to have told the servants of the castle enough to take their business elsewhere. He feels silly, maybe even thinks he's overreacting, but the tension cuts deep.

He even finds himself in a little room off the main hall, only a few doors down from their bedroom, staring at the blank canvases around the room. The room has been set up for weeks but he's never been able to do more than paint a few worthless smears. The large window bathes him in light that warms him to his very bones but the chill under his skin doesn't leave.

It's where Solar finds him hours after he's entered, still stuck on his stool stares at empty white.

He glances over his shoulder at the soft knock against the molding and without a word it pushes open to the Lady herself, a scarf in her hands.

"Lady Solar," he greets, voice catching in his throat from disuse. "I didn't realize you were here today." He knew of course that a slew of nobles have been making their way through the castle as Taehyung still works to reinstate his reign but his mind has been elsewhere recently.

"Oh, you don't need to be so formal with me, Your Highness," he watches as she steps closer and sticks her scarf in her coat pocket. She is dressed casually, but warmly. Clearly ready to leave and head to wherever she calls home. "Just call me Yongsun, 'kay?" The unfamiliar name makes his brow furrow.

"'Yongsun'?" He repeats and she nods, pulling her hair over her shoulder.

"'Solar' is like, a nickname? They call me the 'Daughter of the Sun' because me and my coven work so closely with humans, so- Solar." She shrugs, "It's cool, but I'd like it if you called me my real name...?"

He can only smile back at her words and nod, "Okay," he agrees quietly and she beams. Her joy is infectious and he already feels his muscles relax just as she speaks.