Sonder To Ikigai - The Freedom in Love.

Prologue.

"Itna thand kyun lagg raha hain?" Sana asked softly. The cold temperature was cutting through her skin. She shoved herself into his body, trying to warm herself up as much as possible. He lifted his head off the pillow.

"You left the window open again." He mumbled, pushing her off of him, she whined at the lack of warmth but watched him walk to the window and shut it close.

"Chappal peheniye. You'll get a cold." She scolded, looking intently at the screen.

"But being naked won't give me a cold?" He chuckled.

"No. Come here. I'll warm you up." She giggled. He got back into bed, his body was in pain from work all day. He groaned loudly, and their activities from an hour didn't help much.

"Daba doon?" She asked, kissing his head as soon as he got into bed.

"No. It's alright. Soja. I'll leave in sometime." He whispered, gathering her into his arms and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Her heart pained. And so did his.

"Aap reh sakte hain yaha." She mumbled.

"I know baby. Lekin aaj raat nahi." He said. Her naked body awakened a lust in him, but it also comforted him. He could feel her against himself, her soft breasts that he loved oh so much pressed against his chest and her warm legs tangled with his as she looked at the screen. This girl, this young, sweet, broken beyond repair girl was an electric shock to his almost dead soul.

"Aapko sulau?" She smiled up at him. He didn't know what to say, he just told her that he would leave.

"Siddharth, Aap saamne rehte ho. Aadi raat ko phirse aapke paas aungi. Dono ka kaam asaan hojaayega. Soh jao." She mumbled. She slid up in bed till her head rested against the head board, she pulled him up till his rested on her bare chest. He pressed 2 gentle kisses to each of her full and beautifully round breasts, closing his eyes. She listened intently to the documentary. The tingles of his small actions spread throughout her body. His breathing was becoming steadier. His weight held her down comfortingly, her small, soft hands massaged his bare shoulders, neck and back, sliding up and down, moving to his hair from time to time. She kissed his head gently, massaging his huge, bulging muscles.

"....you'd float off according to whatever forces were acting on you when you broke loose. You'd definitely be weightless. You'd possibly be spinning. In space, no kicking and flailing can change your fate. And your fate could be horrible. At the right angle and velocity, you might even fall back into Earth's atmosphere and burn up. That's why NASA has protocols that it drills into astronauts for such situations. You would be wearing your emergency jetpack, called SAFER, which would..." The narrator went on.

"Siddharth? What if we get lost in space one day?" She asked.

"Hmm?"

"Agar hum space mein kho gaye toh? Matlab waha bohot ajeeb haina? Kho bhi nahi sakte aur kahi kahi jaa bhi nahi sakte. Bas... Hote hain. Till we stop living... We just painfully exist." She said curiously. She didn't expect an answer from him. She had so many doubts that she wanted to clear before she left earth, before she breathed her last but her questions weren't those that couldn't be answered. She didn't feel his fingers tracing on on her skin anymore, nor did she feel his toes wiggling against her legs, she felt his heavy, beautifully build bare body holding her down and his head becoming heavier on her chest, she felt his warm breath on her breasts and she continued to run her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. He was almost, just almost asleep. But his mouth opened and close, trying to find an answer to her question.

"Hum?" He asked.

"Uhuh."

"Tere saath jaaunga toh it's alright, I guess. Yeh bhi toh humara space hi hain, kahi kho jaayenge toh bhi farak nahi padta, kahi nahi jaa sakte hain. Bas rehete hain. Kya difference hoga? It'll be with you." He rambled sleepily. Her hands froze. Her eyes became red and her heart raced. His eyes widened as soon as he realised what he said. He moved her head off her chest urgently, he was embarrassed and he was worried, and she saw that in his eyes.

"No...no no. It's alright baby." She whispered, grabbing his face and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He was shaking again, he wanted to have a relapse, willingly this time.

"Math kar Sana. I don't have much left." He whispered against her lips. His voice was pleading.

"And I never had anything. I can't hold on..." She said in the same tone, kissing him again, swiping her tongue on his lips.

"Uske baad main kya karu?" He asked.

"Go on." She shrugged.

"But tu toh star haina?"

"Stars cease to exist too..." She smiled, rubbing the pads of her thumb on his cheeks.

"I won't leave, jab tak aap theek nahi hote, I'll be there for you to lean on." She whispered, kissing his red, deprived eyes. He was a shaking mess, he was withering with need, for something to pull him out of the hellhole he was in, it was her, but she would leave too.

"Stop... You don't need it." She affirmed, cradling his head against her chest. He nodded, still shaking. He was praying silently that he would relapse again, just so that her time to go didn't come closer. They were so alike, and yet... just unacknowledged.

"We're not that different." He mumbled.

"We're still strangers..." She sighed.

"Sonder... That's sonder." He mumbled. She giggled, kissing his lips again.

"Kya matlab hain iska?" She asked.

"Knowing that a stranger you pass by, their life is as complex as your own." He frowned.

"Yeh toh hum dono hain baby." She laughed. Her laugh, it did something to him.

They were in stinging pain. Sana Kaur Dhillon was covered in scars. Siddharth Singh Sathraj was drowning in the slits of his. A girl obsessed with the stars, space and with a universe that only he took her to and a man obsessed with words that only she heard. They had a sonder, they came together in a realisation their lives were so broken, so painful and they held onto each other, from the very first time they met but they called each other strangers. But how far can they go as strangers when the strings of misery, brokenness, pain, and sorrow in their hearts were tying themselves up together? How long will they succumb to the disasters of life and just hold on? Because this, life, it had a play of its own, a game of its own. And they weren't mere players, they became the challengers of it. Would they fight or would they let go, that was another question unanswered. Sonder, comfort in being strangers at its finest.

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⚠️ DISCLAIMER ⚠️

Hello guys, I'm back, only days after. This book will be slightly different from KHTM, definitely 18+. A warning, it will include topics of self harm, drug abuse, mental illnesses and slight graphic violence and LOTS AND LOTS OF CUTENESS. So be aware before you read it, especially if you get triggered easily, and know that if you're struggling with any of this, Sonder and I will always be there for you. I love you guys. I also changed their names, so as to not cause myself any problems! Please give it a chance 💖💖💖