"do you like your ice cream?" i ask rae
"yeah" she responds looking down at it
i took Rae out to get ice cream while my old mother in law watches the other kids because i felt bad
she's having a really hard day and i figured it might make her happy however she's still sad
"i hate seeing you so sad Rae"
"i can't help it mom"
"it makes me sad too though. what are you sad about"
"just everything. i miss dad a lot right now"
"i do too. but we have to stay positive i know it's hard, but Rae every night i think about him and i know he hates when we're sad. when we're sad, he probably can feel it too. i want him to be back just as much as you do."
"you don't understand though"
"Rae i probably understand more than you know. every night i cry and have dreams about him. i get it, he was the best person and now he's gone. he's the biggest loss of my life and i'd do ANYTHING to get him back. however i stay positive because i have 6 children looking at me as their only parent. but i don't mind i like taking care of you guys you all are part of my soul, but so was your dad. when i got the news that he died part of my soul died too but i pretend that it's not and i'm fine. so yes i definitely understand what you're going through right now."
"you know you're a really good mom"
"thank you-"
"no i mean it. you love me and my siblings so much and it shows. i feel bad that you don't get to show your feelings because you think it's going to upset us. but are you happy?"
"you know i often find myself sad about what happened with dad and then i realize i have no right to be sad. i have 6 amazing people that love me and feel the same way. i may not have dad with me but i have you guys and that's fine with me"
"are you looking for another person?"
"kind of. i'm not on any dating apps but if something happens then i'm okay. but i want to be careful and find someone that will care for me but also be good to you guys"
"well i'm sure you will find someone and don't worry i will make sure to tell them very nice things"
"Hayden doesn't want me to find one he says it's too soon"
"don't listen to him. if someone makes you happy don't let us impact that"
"well you guys are my kids you have to approve"
"hunter is 1 he doesn't care, the twins love everybody, i want you to be happy and in love, zach literally try's to find you a boyfriend everywhere we go. haydens opinion doesn't matter"
"well it does to me. i want everyone to be happy and accepting"
"do you have any guys in mind?"
"maybe but that's a secret"
"what!"
"nothing" i smirk
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i promise ill get into more corbyn content these are just important
