It's Complicated 2 ✔️

Chapter: 36

Last night was the first night in these past years when we have slept separately under one roof.

I didn't want to be near him, it is not because I don't love him it is because I have chosen myself over him. Sometimes it is necessary to choose yourself in a relationship, when you love someone it doesn't mean you have to lose yourself in them.

True love is when you find yourself, and Nathan's love helped me in finding myself. However, now I can never lose myself... not for anyone...even not for him.

He needs to understand that his anger is his problem because in anger he doesn't realize that his words are tearing somebody's heart.

I can understand, that when a person is angry they don't think properly and they can say things which are hurtful. But why does he always says those things which hurt me the most?

He tried to talk to me many times, but I need some time. I don't know how much time, especially last night I just needed to be with myself.

I am aware he was with me when I was sleeping. Because even in sleep I could feel his presence around me. I don't know how long he stayed because I drift into a deep sleep feeling relaxed just by knowing that he is with me.

If I am not sure, but I felt like I heard him saying that he is afraid to lose me. However, he is not the only one who thinks like this, even I don't lose him.

For me, nothing is important than him, he is my imperfectly perfect man.

However, sometimes, I do feel I am a lot more emotionally dependant on him, but then there is nothing wrong with relying on your partner for emotional support.

I love him as much as he loves me. And I know this time will also pass and we will sort this out. Because somewhere we both reacted the way we shouldn't have, we both were wrong. However, I don't think, right now, I am in a state of mind to deal with any of this.

I need some peace.

My eyes open when I feel small hands touching my face. Involuntarily, a smile comes on my lips when the first thing which I see is Noel's scrunch up face.

It seems like he was about to cry but calmed down when he saw me awake.

"Hi, baby," I whisper sleepily, my voice sounding slightly hoarse due to all the crying.

Obviously, Nathan has brought him back home and left him with me.

He is allowing me to have his morning cuddles with his Potato as a peace offering, that is why he has left him with me.

Noel starts blabbering and tries to climb on me. Picking him up, I lie him on my chest and rub his back. He is still sleepy because he is rubbing his eyes with his tiny fist looking tired.

It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep on me, while I just keep holding him as in my mind last night keeps on playing.

Nearly, after an hour I get out of the bed to get ready for work. The doctor has allowed me to resume my routine, but she suggested me to be careful and avoid physical stress. So I have decided to start going to the office for a few hours every day because I am losing my mind being at home all the time.

Nathan was not happy with it, but he doesn't have a say in it as it is my choice. I promised him to take care of myself, and will not overwork because even I don't want anything to happen to my baby. But I need to keep myself insane too.

I hear the sound of water running from the shower when I walk into our room to get my clothes and other stuff from the closet. I return to the spare bedroom to get ready before Nathan could come out of the shower, as I know he heard me coming into the room because not even a minute has passed the water turned off and I hear hurried footsteps.