The Search (PSS, #1) ✔️

Epilogue: The Search

EPILOGUE

I still remember a saying from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

A year ago, I was a hopeless, and a lifeless person. It was so hard for me to live. Hindi ordinaryo ang buhay na mayroon ako at nakita ng lahat iyon. Since I was young, I used to be alone. Until Marcus and Laura came, sila lang ang nakipagkaibigan sa akin wala nang iba. I thought my life would be forever a mess, I can't see any path so I don't know where I was going. Until something happened which lead the way for me to become stronger, braver, fiercer, bolder and dauntless.

The search happened, it turned out to be the search for the beryl, the search for me and I left a trail. I realized, life is not about what will happen to you but what you do that will happen to you. We choose, we determine, we live our own destiny. I was the negative yet brave girl, so my life was also negative. I was lost to an unknown place where I don't belong and I saw colors. I saw the beauty of life, and then I started painting my boring black and white life. If you want to bloom, then blossom.

Sa dinami dami ng pinagdaanan ko, napakarami ko talagang natutunan. Dati'y akala ko'y wala akong lugar ngunit nagkamali ako. Kung sa tingin mo'y wala kang lugar sa mundo, maaring kabilang sa mga hindi ordinaryong tao. Kung hindi parin, then build a place for you to live and invite people who are also like you. Lost and doesn't have a place.

I have so many reasons to hate my life and myself. I even cursed my life, but I knew my life would never be an anathema. Yes, I hated my life but it was when I was still in my dark moments. I never opened my eyes for hope and colors. I was blinded by pain and sorrow. But then I saw a light, and I live in it.

Maybe, one would ask why I still don't hate myself above all my crestfallen. I have many reasons to hate myself. I am not perfect, never perfect. I am boring, my life was a mess, and childhood was a lie, I didn't live a beautiful and even normal life. But c'mon, you can give me 1000 reasons to hate but I have 1 enough reason to love. This is me. This is who I meant to be. If I gave up, will there be a success in my district now? I stated my flaws but still I don't hate myself. Because after all I stand with God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

There was always a purpose for everything. God made everything for a reason and I just find my purpose. I was the justice for my fallen great father, for the district 1, and the kingdom of Eufrata. I have realized so many things, and that love story doesn't always end well. I accepted our fate, that we will never end up with each other until our next lives. King Zavan is great and happily ruling the Eufrata, and I am happy with my life now, too.

And one thing, "wala sa kasarian ang pagiging matapang."

"Mommy!"

Napangiti ako at napalingon sa batang babaeng tumawag sa akin. I almost tumble down dahil sa lakas ng kanyang pagkapit sa akin. "Careful Olivia," I whispered.

"Mommy, you talk a lot with ninong Marcus, my Papa is waiting. He's going to work now." Aniya. Napasinghap ako, muntik ko na pala iyong makalimutan. May trabaho pala si Matthew, nag eenjoy pa ako sa puntod ni Marcus.

"Okay, tell Papa, I'll be there in a minute," sabi ko at ibinibaba si Olivia. "Okay," she immediately ran and left me. Napangiti ako, ang saya sa buhay ng may batang kasama. Hindi mo na mararamdaman ang lungkot dala ng mga pinagdaanan mo.

Umupo ako sa puntod ni Marcus. Hindi na siya natagpuan pa, hindi na rin kami umasa ni Laura at nagpatuloy na sa buhay. Isang taon na ang nakalipas matapos mangyari ang lahat ng iyon.

"We named Olivia after you, Marcus Oliver." May bahid na lungkot kong bulong sa hangin. "I missed you so much." I whispered. Isang hangin ang marahang humaplos sa akin. Napangiti ako. I knew it was Marcus, he was always with me. Alam kong hindi niya na ako iniwan. "I'm happy now, I hope you too."