Sprousehart Oneshots

happiness

Cole had come home after shooting the whole day, his day went pretty great and he couldn't wait to go spend the rest of his time with his girlfriend.

he came and saw she wasn't in their bedroom, so he called out for her and searched for her in the entire house.

he couldn't find her, so he gave up and layed down on the bed.

he looked over to her side, and saw a paper.

it looked like a letter, he opened and started reading it.

dear cole,
i am sure you had a great day at set, and enjoyed with everybody and mainly were happy.

i know you have been wondering why i quickly shot all my scenes, and took a break from shooting, i am done lying to you, i didn't need a break from shooting , i needed a break for myself.

roberto knows everything, and he has had a really tough time keeping it from you.

even you are going to wrap up shooting in a few days, and are going to start working on a great project in no time, i am so happy for you, you are flying so high in life.

but i am not.

i have been feeling very depressed lately, i am not happy about any relationship that i have except ours.

i fight with my mom, my sisters don't want to talk to me because of my annoyance and i am constantly irritated with my dad.

i haven't been talking to austyn, taylor or nik either.

i don't feel like talking to them, or anyone except you.

i am not even happy at set, i am not happy and at peace anywhere until and unless i am at home, and alone.

i know you haven't noticed it, because as soon as you are around, i am immediately happy, it's as if you have done some magic on me.

i am so happy and at peace around you that i can't explain it in words.
my mood changes in seconds when you come and kiss me and hug me.
but i'm afraid, that just can't continue happening.

you are a big part of my life, but my friends and my career are too.

i need to be at peace with them too.

i need to start being the person i was.

it feels like i have lost me.

it's your love that didn't make me want to slit my wrists and take the easy way out.

it's your love that has kept me going.
so, thank you, for loving me so so much.

you are my heart.

when you used to come to me, it was like my heartbeat returned and i was living and breathing again.

i know you'll always my heart.

i'm afraid it can't go on like this, i can't depend my whole life on you, i need to learn how to live with myself too.

and most importantly, love myself too.

i really didn't want you to get to know this from someone else, i didn't even want to tell you like this, but i had no choice, i didn't and still don't have the guts to tell you in person.

i am going, not forever,but i don't
know for how long.

i don't expect you to wait for me whatsoever.

in your happiness is my happiness and that is something which will never change.

if you do find someone, who loves you, i'll be happy for you.

i love you, always remember that.

don't try to contact me.

love,
Lili

He kept the letter back where it was, and opened her closet, nothing, except his t-shirts and hoodies which she used to sleep in.

he broke down in sobs and fell on the floor.

he broke.
he broke completely from inside, he couldn't see that she was going through so much pain.

" how did i not notice it" he screamed at himself.

he kept cursing himself, and crying the whole night.

in the morning he realised, he made her happy.

so he put himself together and put on a smile, for her.

he pretended to be and tried his best to be happy, for her.

but he couldn't.

if she found his happiness in him, she was the one giving him oxygen.
he couldn't live without her.

he was happy, because he was with the most amazing woman in this whole world.

he just grew sadder and sadder every night, but was happy from outside.

he woke up and read her letter.

before sleeping he read her letter.

how was he supposed to function without her ?

looking at her pictures every now and then, talking to her pictures, he was going crazy.

he tried calling her, but it went to voicemail always.

he tried tracking her credit card, but used to find nothing.

he was breaking a little everyday.

part 2 coming up soon !