The Unbroken

XXIII

The big bay window in the conservatory has always been my alone time spot. I was always sensitive growing up. I was triggered by anything and I would end up bawling my eyes out in this exact place. I remember the first time I came here: my parents had missed my birthday due to traffic on their way back from a meeting. I had Oliver back then, and the sweet boy came bouncing over with a large chunk of cake he bought from the baker's for me. He fed it to me until it was finished, and I was giggling again. Although my Mum and Dad did make it up to me by taking myself and my best friend out for the weekend, the glass room has been my safe space ever since.

The funeral was yesterday, and I was overwhelmed with how many people attended. My parents had a habit of keeping their social lives separate from work, which must have been difficult with how business ruled their lives. But when my house was packed with grieving family friends, I realised how many lives my parents had touched.

The event was colourful, barely any black was seen. The dress code specified to wear an outfit that expressed yourself. Mum and Dad never liked that school taught us to dress formally to appear hireable. They adored when I would go out in my leather or gothic clothing, admiring that I wasn't shy to show my personality. Thankfully, the message got across as it looked like a rainbow threw up in the hall. Anthony and I had been the only one's in black, since our wardrobe consisted of only dark colours.

My Mother's favourite flowers were everywhere; roses of every colour littered the room. Their favourite photo's sat in front of their coffins. One from our first holiday to the lake: Mum was leaning against a tree with me in her arms, the photo was taken without her knowledge by Father. The second was of their wedding day: Mum was in an elegant mermaid dress that was completely white, while Dad was in a black suit. The third was of my Dad with me after I was born.

Pulling the sleeves of my jumper over my hands, my head leans against the rain drenched glass. The droplets race to the ledge as more take their beginning place. My warm breath occasionally fogs it up, helping me remain calm.

I've been preparing for today for almost two weeks now. All of my coursework is complete and sent in. I have no more exams left, not that they would be a concern. All paperwork for the bills has been finalised and reset to my personal bank account. Fresh door keys have been cut for each of the children living here as of last Monday. All clothing and necessary belongings are packed and in the car.

I am excited to get out of town and get a fresh start where basically no one knows me, yet I am nervous to leave the rest of my family behind. I've never left town long term without a return date, and never have I gone without a positive reason. Now though, I'm going to restart after a month and a half of chaos that's left me feeling weak in every possible way. I need this change of scenery to get my head straight, and even though I feel guilty for leaving the group, I need to live my own life and do what is right for me.

"Zozie! Jer's back with dinner!" The beautiful Princess skips over to me, tugging on my hand to take me with her. Everyone has been staying here for the past few days, wanting to take advantage of the remaining time. Most of us have been washing and reusing the same clothes but Rox has managed to whip up a new dress each day; I'm assuming she packed in anticipation of staying.

Today she looks as stunning as ever with her grey hair in pigtails and a whimsical tea dress covered in kites. "I'm coming, don't pull my arm off." I snicker as she drags me through to the kitchen that's full of chatter.

It seems they couldn't wait for Jeremy's return with the bowls of crisps and other snacks which have now been discarded for the slices of pizza now being chomped on.

"Drinks!" I glance at Ro who already has a jug full of some cocktails. She fills a pint glass before passing it to me. "I have to drive in a couple of hours, I don't plan on being pulled over by the police."