The Unbroken

XXII

The bright sun filters through the open curtains, stirring me from the safe pit I've been delving further into all morning. The world around me appears grey, a shadow of disgust casting over all I can see. From the corner of my eye, I can see him still in my room. Although it's just a mirage, it leaves maggots on my skin.

Everything's numb: mind, body, soul. I wish I could cry, yell, react but I don't even have it in me to breathe normally. The pain and self-hate plaguing my mind are building within an unbreakable cage. All I can hope for is that Death returns to my home to drag me with them. I can't stand my existence in this world, evil infects it without a trace, without a cure.

How did he even get in? Maybe I left the door unlocked, or one of the windows was still open. This is my fault. I didn't bother checking the locks. This is my fault.

Actually, it isn't. Whatever the Gods are up to, they are the ones who let this happen. For years it has been difficult but I got through them. Since I pulled through, they must have thought it is fair to throw these horrid events at me. First, we'll have her attacked by a Wolf. Second, she can experience the excruciating agony of transforming. Third, we'll rip her only blood family from her. Fourth, we'll...

I can't even think of it. I know the word, of course I know the word, but admitting it is something I'm not sure I can take.

Desperate to forget it all, I close my eyes, only for the images to return. I may have been unconscious from emotional and physical exhaustion, but I could feel it the entire time, providing me with enough to get a clear picture in my dreams.

I sit up suddenly, holding at my stomach as it churns with nothing to come up - I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday and right now I don't even want to think about it. All of the pain and anger explode out of a tiny crack in their prison, taking the whole wall down with them. Warmth spills down my white cheeks while I shiver, whether from being cold, in shock or fearful, I don't know. My fingers land in my hair, furiously yanking at the strands causing the skin beneath to sting, like I care. I'd rather experience pure torture if it meant not feeling the effects left by that man. My choked gasps ring around the room, destroying the distressed silence of the boxy space.

I can't believe I just fell asleep like that. I barely fought. Where was my adrenaline? I can't have used it all up. Then again, I'd been dancing, dealing with Tia's assault, the rejection. I used up everything.

I release an earth shattering scream without warning. My loud tormented howl echoes throughout the empty building, resonating against every object, a cacophony of emotional distress pulsating through every brick, every atom of the house until it's all I can hear. The remnants of it all only exist in my mind and roars. My nails sink into my arms, a new type of pain to distract me from the other.

The front door creaks open, several presences making themselves known by calling out my name. I forgot that we were meant to meet up at our favourite cafe in the centre of the city, a plan we made late last night. For the past five hours I've been too caught up in my head to realise the passing of time.

Carter probably let them all in, in need of a clothes change and to see why after two hours I didn't turn up. They mutter about missing me on their way here and heading out once he's changed and checked I'm not still asleep. With how quiet it is up here, I'm not surprised I can hear them clearly. I may be coughing up my guts, but they're muffled by hands pressing firmly to my lips.

"Zo, you in here?" He pokes his head around the corner of my door, careful at first until he takes in my appearance. I know I've been staring at the same spot for a while, and I can't move in response to his company, I don't want him to see anymore of my pathetic state.

"What the fuck happened?" The door crashes into the wall, leaving a hole from the brass handle. The smack followed by his volume leads to pounding feet hammering up the stairs.