The Unbroken

XXVI

To say that my body's alarm system is unpleasant at the moment is an understatement. Every morning, at varying times, I put my speed to the test. Sprinting to the toilet is the worst way to spend most days as it never stops after the first time. 'Morning sickness' is the worst sense of hope in existence. Though 'Never ending hopeless hurling' isn't any better.

I've found it near impossible to keep down a single meal. No matter the contents: meat, vegetable, dairy or sugar, none of it remains inside my stomach for longer than an hour. I've resorted to a degree of vitamins, iron and calcium supplements just to remain healthy enough to see this through. I'm beginning to wonder if this baby even likes food, it always demands that I remove it from my system.

The group and I have arranged for them to stay here for a week at the end of the month. It's a way to celebrate Lyra's birthday that passed a week and a bit ago, as well as seeing them all since they couldn't come last month with the state I was in. We've had to schedule around jobs, training, school and Doctor's appointments. Meaning it has been a struggle.

Chris and Leah finally got Fawn's diagnosis' as well as Lyra who they wanted to test 'just incase'. Fawn's been confirmed to have Dyscalculia, Dyslexia, severe Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and mild Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). Lyra was told she has Separation Anxiety which I believe explains why she clings to Fawn so much when with groups. They've decided to pull Fawn out of school to be home-schooled instead to help manage her difficulties and support her own method of learning.

Throwing my bag onto the passenger seat, I pull out of the drive for the main road. I have my first ultrasound of the entire trimester, or the entire thing really. I've been nervous all week, I know I'm far bigger than I'm meant to be and it's worrying me. I remember what Sidonie said but am hoping that I'm just bloated. Despite that, I'm ten weeks along while looking twenty.

So far, I've managed to resist the urge to buy anything or even consider names with it being too early. Sidonie has already told me several times that it is unlikely anything will go wrong with being a Werewolf, but I was Human first and that doesn't settle the concern.

The girls of the group have been demanding regular conferences to keep up with the progress. The amount of times I've been asked to show my belly is ridiculous, I feel like I belong in a circus. Leah's been more settled. She's sent me a few books as courtesy of the hospital back there and has helped me with anything I've not understood which is rare but has happened. She's also linked me to some good shops for maternity clothes for the future which I'm not quite in need of yet. I can still get on my joggers and some shorts, with the occasional pair of jeans.

Parking in one of the many available bays, I wander into the sterile building, making sure to ignore the shivers creeping up my spine at being back here. I still hate medicinal places. I explained this to Dr Willard, she's been helping me work around that by choosing specific times where there's less people and using less crisp white rooms. The clean smell is still settling but the visuals seem to be what freak me out the most.

Shutting the door behind me, I'm surprised by the hand landing and squeezing my shoulder. Shifting my head to see behind me, I'm greeted by Sidonie's tender smile. "There's no one else here right now, Zoe, everyone is out for lunch. Come right through with me, and we can hopefully finish before the break ends." She takes my hand, rubbing against my knuckles to help me stay calm.

We step into a large cream and slate coloured room full of electronic equipment. She shuts half of it away with a curtain, making the space seem smaller and less daunting. "I know you don't like it but it isn't as bad as it seems." She positions me on the bed, picking up her notebook to use instead of the computer on the shut off part of the room. I guess she won't leave me alone due to the anxiety.