An Unexpected Love

Special Chapter [3]

Soyun already have Stage 3 Lung Cancer before we knew it. That's why she's already gasping for air even though she's not doing anything. Always lack of air. Always feel tired and week. And many more.

We just know that she's positive in Stage 3 Lung Cancer just 3 years ago. I do all my best to cure her cancer. We went to different countries to find a doctor that can cure a stage 3 lung cancer.

Knowing that my wife has a lung cancer? Dammit. It's seem like I was the one who has that fcnkng disease. It really break my hearts into a pieces and always make me cry every time that seeing here feel so tired and weak.

One time, she said, she want to be alone so we let her. I know she want to think some things or about our kids. Unfortunately, my hands were shaking as I'm not feeling so comfortable about what she said, so I open the door of our room where she was and then I saw her, with a gun pointing at her head.

My knees started to be jelly as a tear roll down in my face. "W-wife.." I mumbled to get her attention. She look at me with drench face 'cause of tears.

"I. Want. To. Die.." She cried as hell as she closed her eyes and ready to kill herself.

"O-our.. K-kids." I mumbled to her. She open her eyes as she look at me pain, broken and tired. She put down her gun and put her palm on her face. I quickly went to her and hug her so tight.

She's really thin in that time. She always mumbling our kids names and always telling me those sweet words.

Her doctor tell us that she can live in just 2 years. So I really do my best to save her whatever how hard the situation is.

All of my life. This is the first time that it was happened in my whole life. It really hurts. Really really hurts.

But her doctor was false alarmed. Her doctor said that she can only live in just 2 years? But she got 1 more year and we are so blessed that she can still live in 1 year even though I can't accept it.

It's more much better if she will live with us forever. But her life were just limited. That's the most unacceptable reason for me.

She died with a reason. Maybe it's much better than she died with someone's else hand right?

She gain all the pain and aches that has in this earth when she's still on her chemo. Sometimes, I just cry if she's sleeping or if she's on her chemo so she can't see that I'm already hurting seeing her like that.

There's no day that I didn't cry. I cried because it really hurts to see her suffering and worst, she leads to death.

Sometimes, I attempt to kill myself because of all the things that was happening to her, I'm the one whose hurting the most here. I just want to die because I could not take it anymore.

I just want to tell myself that I still have 3 kids to need to grow up with their parents and grow up with love and care. Only my kids is the reason of my existence here on earth.

She passed away just a week ago. We just celebrate our anniversary last month in Hospital, not in anywhere else but after a week, when she's already fine, we decided to have a vacation in Jeju. She's not allowed to go to other country, maybe yes she's allowed but I just prefer in near so she won't feel any tiredness.

There's no time that I'm not looking at her beautiful and perfect face. I'm scared that one day, I couldn't see that face anymore. And dang! It happened. Fck.

I said to her all that's bragging in my mind. All of it. There's nothing that I didn't say.

"W-wife.. Maybe. Maybe we can't live forever anymore but let me love you forever. Don't insist me to find another girl and replace you in my heart and mind. You don't know how much I love you to the point that I don't see any girl anymore. They're just black face for me because all of my mind and heart is Soyun, Soyun and Soyun." I said that time. I don't know how I can say it to her straight.

"You will be always in my heart and mind. There's no more. You're my wife. You're the only one. I will love until I die. Even though were already not that young but always remember that Kim Taehyung was just belong to Choi Soyun. Okay?" I cupped her face and kiss her. How I missed her so much.

"H-husband.." She smiled that time. I can imagine her beautiful smile again. How I missed her so much.

"Even.. Even though Choi Soyun will die, Kim Taehyung is the only person she really loves. Kim Taehyung is her first love. Only Kim Taehyung. Don't be sad, Choi Soyun will be in rest in peace." That time, she cupped my face and lean her forehead on mine.

How my life will function if the one whose the reason of it was already died?