JOURNEY || JinKook ☑️

FORTY FOUR - DECISION

Jungkook

I'm desperately finding a way so Jin will move in with me and Soobin. He's tough. No matter how many times I tried to trap him, he will not bow down. It's usually me who will give up.

But lately, he's been super moody. He is often clingy. When he's in his apartment, he will call me to put him to sleep. He said he cannot sleep without smelling me. Weird? I know but I already have a hint. I know he's keeping something and I think I know what it is.

"Jin, baby, I know you refused for so many times but please, move in with me." I guess I already said the line for over fifty times.

"Let's wait some more." He said burying his face deeper in my neck.

"Babe, listen, I left Soobin at home just to put you to sleep. I am worried about him and at the same time, I am also worried about you." I tried catching his gaze but his eyes remained shut as he nuzzles comfortably on my neck.

"Did Soobin eat his dinner before you left?" Jin asked. He always asks me the same type of questions whenever we're together.

"Yes, babe. He ate at 7 pm. After that, he took a shower, changed to sleeping clothes, drank a glass of warm milk and he's asleep by 8 pm. Jin, it's already a routine, you don't need to ask every time."

I heard him giggle, his arm tightens on my side. At last, he lifts his head up to meet my eyes. His lips smiling so fondly at me. "I know you're annoyed but I am only looking and waiting for consistency."

I furrow my eyebrows and stare at him. He sits down on the bed and turns to my direction.

"Kookie, I really want to move in with you. But I want to make sure that when I move in, I already occupy more of your heart.

I always tell you that I will patiently wait until your progress is already consistent. You know that I promise to help you heal. And that's what I am waiting for to happen before I move in.

I am not competing with Ken. He already occupied a special place in your heart and nobody, even me, can take that place. I have no plans of taking his place from your heart, anyway. He's special to you and I acknowledge that.

It's okay if you will not forget him. You can't. I know it. I'm not jealous or hurt. Besides, he is still Soobin's father and that's enough reason for you to move on with his memories etched in your heart.

It's okay. I've been there and still there. Though we have a different situation, a loss is still a loss. I cannot replace Haneul in my heart. I cannot forget him even if I have Soobin now. I mean, I love Soobin like my own. But I need to move on with my life with Haneul's memories with me. Moving on doesn't mean you need to forget the love you have for that person. I know that's what you're afraid to happen. Do you know what I mean?

I am proud of you. You've been a consistent good father to Soobin. Every day I can see your willingness to be the better father. I adore you for that. At the same time, even if you visit Ken every Sunday, when we're together, you only focus on me. You never mention his name nor compare us. The sparkle in your eyes is far different from the first time I saw you. The loneliness is gone."

Seokjin

I am surprised when he wrapped me in a tight embrace. All I can do is respond with a hug. He's not crying, he is silent. And I patiently wait for his response.

"I am in love with you Kim Seokjin. I thought I will never fall in love again but here you are, you taught me that it's okay. I am confident to say that I already moved on. I already accepted the fact that Ken will never come back. And I already acknowledged his message to me that somewhere along my journey of life, I will meet someone who will accompany me. And I already found that someone."

Jungkook releases me from his embrace and holds my hand, placing it against his chest. "You're here. You occupy a special place in my heart. A big space that only you will occupy. I know your worries. I know you're worried that I am only using you so I can move on but no. I moved on for you. I moved on because I want you to stay with me. I moved on because I want to continue my life with you beside me. I want to spend my waking days and my sleeping nights with you beside me.

I knew that I already moved on when I can stop thinking about you. When I wake up in the morning, when I am working, even before I fall asleep, I always think about you.

Jin, you healed me. You kept your promise to never stop until I am finally healed. And I am thankful because you did not give up on me. Now, no more denying, no more hesitations, I love you Kim Seokjin. I love you so much."

When he runs his thumb on my cheek just then I realized that I am already crying. The emotions in each word that he spoke hit deeply into my soul. His eyes are teary like mine. Sincerity and honesty are there. There's no hint or sign of holding back. I can feel that all of that came from his heart. And I am so happy that finally, he spoke the assurance that I wanted to hear.

"I love you Jungkook. I don't have anything else to say but I love you."

We hugged. I can't remember how long. I cried so hard on his shoulder and he cried too. It's a good cry. It feels like a big burden just got out of my chest. I'm so happy. I can finally breathe now.

When both of us finally calmed down, we stare at each other smiling sheepishly. Both of us sniffing and wiping each other's tears.

"So, when will you move in with us?" Jungkook asked again.

"If Soobin is okay with it then I will move in this weekend."

"You know that he's so excited for your arrival. He will be very happy once he finds out that you're moving in. Wait, why don't you pack your things and sleep with me in my apartment?" He suggested and I expected that. Now that I have the peace of mind, I don't have any more reason to refuse. So I pack some of my things and agreed to come with him. I want to surprise Soobin when he wakes up tomorrow morning.