THIRTY SIX - TALKS

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I hug my son's teddy bear as I lay down to bed after I showered. I stared at my Haneul's photo from the side table and smiled. I reached for it and held it in my hand.

"Hey, baby boy! Appa is happy. Do you remember the cute guy who gave you flower on your birthday? His name is Jungkook. We went on a date. Do you like him for appa? I hope because appa likes him.

Please don't get jealous over Soobin, okay? You're still the number one in appa's heart. I lost you two years ago but you know what? Soobin lost his appa while he's still a baby. How sad he didn't experience his appa's love, right? Have you seen his appa there? His name is Ken. Look for him and tell him that your appa here is taking care of his baby.

I really wish you're still here so you can play with him. I miss you Haneul. Your smile, your sweetness, your hugs. I hope you're happy that appa is happy. I hope you're enjoying the heavens. I love you."

My phone buzzes. I put Haneul's picture back to my side table before looking at my phone. Jungkook.

Hi. Still up?

Yes. How's Soobin?

You really ask about Soobin.
How about me?

How are you?

I miss you.

I tried to think of what to reply next. I'm not used to Jungkook being sweet or this cheesy. I just realized that I'm smiling like an idiot when my phone buzzes again.

Don't tell me you fell
asleep already?

I giggled like a kid thinking of how frustrated he might be thinking about me falling asleep that fast.

Jin?

I think of what to reply next. It's been a long long while. It may sound weird but it feels like this is my first time someone courting me.

Babe?

My eyes widened. My fingers trembling as I type my reply.

Babe? Are you calling me babe?

If I only knew that it's
the only way for you to notice me,
I should have called you babe
right from the start.

It's not that. I just don't know what to say.

Hmmm... I said I miss you.
Since you don't know what to say,
does it mean you don't miss me?

No. I mean, of course, I miss you too.

Really?

Yes.

Can I invite you again
tomorrow for dinner? It's a weekend. I will drop Soobin to Taehyung's place.

Are you sure that's okay with Jimin and Taehyung?

If I tell them that I am going
on a date with you,
I'm pretty sure they will
borrow Soobin for a week.

I laughed at his reply. I can imagine how Jimin and Taehyung, based on Namjoon's story, how much they wanted Jungkook to go on a serious date. Like they were pushing him out.

Can we have it here?

What do you want
us to have there?

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