We're Finding Hope In The Hopeless

Scarlett Porter Olson

I stared at the webpage and leaned over, covering my face with my hands. I read the dates over and over again, mumbling them all one by one.

"December 6th... December 16th..." I scrolled some more and sighed. "May-"

Blaze walked into the bedroom and I quickly closed the page. She tossed the laundry on the bed and opened the closet and all the drawers. She picked up a pair of my pants and began to fold them but not before she looked up at me and smiled.

"What were you looking at?" The room was silent before I answered.

"Just some baby stuff. Christmas shopping already." I chuckled softly and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Oh that's nice. I have the best gift for you." She wiggled her eyes brows and smirked.

"Already?" I asked.

"Yeah. Had to pull a few strings for it."

"Well don't ruin the surprise." I laughed and she shook her head.

"Anyways..." I hinted.

"Yes?"

"Any, uh, contractions yet?"

"Not yet. But every so often I feel some."

"Nothing too bad?" I stared at her face and she shrugged. I nodded and turned back to the computer. My phone lit up with a text from Balz.

Did you tell her yet? -Balz

Nope. I replied quick and locked my phone. I knew I needed to get it out some time but how? I stood up and put my hands in my pockets. I watched her hang some of her shirts before joining her. I reached for her pants and began to fold them. We folded in silence until I turned around and bumped into her near the dresser. We laughed lightly and continued to do our separate things. Finally, it was just her delicates so I picked them all up and tossed them in the last drawer.

"Do you need any more help?" I asked softly as she picked up the hamper and headed for the door.

"Nah, I should be fine." But I took the basket from her hands and ran down the stairs. I heard her giggle and I waited patiently at the bottom of the stairs for her. We walked to the laundry room together and started it. I decided to be sweet and carry her the rest of the way up the stairs. Shamefully, I had to pretend like she hadn't gotten a pound heavier but from the look on her face, she knew.

"You're still perfect." I set her down and kissed her nose before looking at my phone again. I read the text but didn't answer. Suddenly, Blaze whimpered.

"Contractions." She finally pushed out before sitting on the couch.

"Do you need to go?"

"No." She grabbed her stomach and paced out her breathing. "We'll give her time."

I nodded and sat on the couch with her. We put on a movie and waited. From time to time, Blaze would crouch over but nothing was extreme. Not until she closed her eyes to sleep.

I was flicking through the channels as she slept on my shoulder. I felt uncomfortable so I laid her in my lap before putting my arm over the back of the couch. She sighed in her sleep and I smiled at how cute she looked. I settled for a stupid comedy and settled in but not for long.

Blaze woke up quick and threw on her shoes. She was already on her way upstairs to the bedroom before I caught up with her.

"Blaze, what's up?"

She tore open the closet and grabbed the baby bag before looking me dead in the face. Her eyes were filled with something and her face was stone. It was the look of a mother who wanted this baby out of her and pronto.

"She's coming." Blaze ran down to the car and left me to follow. I scrambled down the stairs and hyperventilated all the way to the car. I was flipping tits on the ride to the hospital and Blaze's erratic breathing didn't help mine. Although she tried to be calm, I'm sure I wasn't the best person to be around.

"Ricky! You passed the hospital!" Blaze laughed through her heavy breathing and face palmed.

"I'm sorry!" I stepped on the brakes and decided if I should back up or turn around. My mind found its common sense and I made a U turn. I dropped her off at the door and parked the car. I ran inside and asked the lady where my wife had gone. She pointed down the hallway and I quickly walked in that direction.

I found Blaze leaning against the wall, slowing her breathing. A woman came out with a wheelchair and Blaze plopped down in it. I'm not sure what happened in the mean time but the last thing I saw was Blaze covering her face before Chris and Claire pushed past me into the delivery room.

* * * * *

"Sir, are you her husband?" The woman's words hurt and poked at my open sore but I pushed that aside for the moment.

"No, he's out there." I jerked my head in the direction that Ricky stood and tried to walk towards Blaze. The short woman blocked me carefully and shook her head.

"Okay, only the spouse can be here. Who are you ma'am?" She interrogated Claire next but I didn't hear anything she said. All I could see was Blaze. Her face was pale and she looked like she was in a shit ton of pain. I wanted to hold her hand and mumble calming words but I knew I couldn't. Mainly, I wanted to see Scarlett. She was finally coming and I couldn't wait. Nine months I had waited to know and now was the moment I would find out. At least I had hoped.

We were ushered out of the room to where Ricky stood. He looked like death and had a small amount of sweat across his forehead. He mumbled to himself and licked his dry lips before I threw my hands on his shoulders.

"Get your ass in there with your wife. She's having your damn baby." We all stopped at my words and I cleared my throat before correcting myself. "She's having the baby."

Ricky found himself again and rubbed his face before walking into the room. We could hear Blaze's wailing as the doors opened and as soon as they shut, her pain was muffled. We sat down in the shitty chairs and I heard Blaze yell, "Get this mother fucker out of me, gosh dammit!" before I laughed and hid my face in my hands. Claire was busy calling anyone and everyone so I walked off to the bathroom.

I stood in front of the mirror and wiped the water from my face. Starting today, I could possibly be a father. I thought about how Scarlett might look and how her smile just might look exactly like Blaze's. And if she had those green eyes... Man, I would die.

Another man walked in and that was my que to leave. I found Claire again and she was sobbing into the phone to Blaze's mom about the news. I slipped a piece of hair behind my ear and sat down again, waiting for another five hours before anything happened.

Those five hours were dreadful and were filled with my fidgeting and Claire's phone calls. Finally, I looked at her when she was done. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked back at me.

"How do you feel about this?" I asked.

"My best friend is having a baby!" She squealed and hugged me and I regretting ever asking. Claire began to cry again but a nurse came out and motioned for us to follow her.

We followed her to the end of a hallway and through the tiny window, I could see an exhausted Blaze and a freaked out Ricky looking down at something in Blaze's arms. Their faces held an expression only parents would know, something intrigued and mystified, something wonderful, and that's when my heart rate jacked up.

I swallowed my nerves and gripped Claire's hand when she grabbed mine as we walked into the room. Blaze cooed and Ricky grinned just before they saw us. Blaze's eyes met mine and she smiled softly.

"Come meet Scarlett Porter Olson, guys." She called out hoarsely and waited for us to get closer. Claire was first to reach the side of the bed, then me. And when I looked down at the little human with her eyes closed, wrapped like a burrito, I knew. I knew whose baby she was.