We're Finding Hope In The Hopeless

When Love Met Destruction

I waited for the lady to zip up the back of the dress. When I felt the soft fabric hug my body, I knew it was the perfect one. The woman stepped back and smiled.

"I think this is it." She grinned.

"Me too." I nodded in agreement and smiled thinking about how happy Ricky would be to see me in this dress. The dress stopped an inch or two above my knees and was covered in lace all around with a white satin underneath. The sleeves stopped above my elbows and were only lace. A white ribbon was around my rib cage, just above Scarlett. My now long black hair hung beautifully over the front of the dress.

"I seriously love it." I whispered. We carefully walked out to the girls and my parents. My mother instantly started crying and Claire and Raven applauded me.

"What do you guys think?" I posed and threw a piece sign up in the air. They all laughed lightly before giving me a thumbs up. I agreed on buying the dress and went back to get changed. We purchased it and went back to the house. Thankfully, Ricky was out with the guys so I was able to hide the dress. Soon after, everyone left except Raven, who stayed behind to help me clean up.

"Are you excited for the wedding?" She looked at me as I handed her another dish to dry. We were currently washing all the dirty dishes that had built up in the past few days. I washed, she dried.

"Of course. Are you?"

"Hell yeah! I get to be a bridesmaid." I laughed at her excitement. We heard a car pull up and I washed my hands before greeting Ricky at the door. I held my arms out for a hug and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, did you find a dress?"

"Yes." I blushed at his interest as Raven slowly made her way to the door.

"I'll catch you guys later! I've got plans." We waved goodbye and I looked out the window to see her talking to someone. I couldn't tell who it was because the curtain covered their figure until they bent down to kiss her.

Rage filled my lungs and I felt sick. I hugged Ricky closer to get a better look at them. I knew I was right as to who it was. Ricky noticed me staring and poked my shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks. I'm going to take a bath. I love you." I kissed his nose and didn't stick around for him to say he loved me back. I stripped down and got into the bathtub. I slid all the way down until I was underwater.

Chris and Raven were dating? And neither one of them told me? What the hell was this? If Chris was with her before last night, then why did he say all those things to me? If he wanted to move on, why didn't he tell me?

I didn't understand what I was missing. I wasn't sure if I should bother bringing it up or if I should ignore it as I was with Ricky. I had to admit though, it really hurt to know that my two best friends couldn't tell me that they had found happiness in each other. What was so wrong in what they were doing?

I shot up from the lack of air and choked out the water that had gotten in my lungs. I didn't realize I was under water for so long. I got out of the tub and sat on the toliet with my towel on, watching the water go down the drain. My mind wandered back to Chris and the time that we were together.

Each memory came along with its share of jealousy. His genuine smile, the way his touch was always filled with compassion, his sense of humor... It all used to be mine. And now Raven had it.

I pursed my lips at the disappointment in myself. How could I let someone so caring go? After all, he really is the reason I'm still here. I was on the verge of ending my life before I met Chris. But here I was, back together with Ricky, the reason I was so rock bottom.