We're Finding Hope In The Hopeless

This Is More Than I Can Handle

The days of tour passed by slowly and each day I wished Blaze could have been here. The very last image I had of her was hugging me goodbye and the gold ring sitting proudly on her pale finger. I wanted more; something meaningful like a date or a moment alone. Tour was beginning to take a toll on me and I didn't know how I would continue after having a child.

I dried my black hair in my towel and sat down in my bunk. I texted Blaze a quick 'I love you' and checked my Twitter. I noticed a spam of mentions from a girl and clicked on her profile. What I saw appalled me. Edits and comments of Blaze filled the girl's page. The words and phrases 'slut', 'whore', 'band whore' and 'bitch' were everywhere. The amount of retweets and favorites made me sick. I ran out to the front of the bus and grabbed Chris's shoulder.

"Did you know about this?" I spat. Chris took ahold of my phone and nearly chocked.

"No! Who the fuck is starting all this?"

"Some fans. They think because Blaze was with you and now she's with me and pregnant that she's a whore or something!" My face grew hot and I felt my phone vibrate with another mention.

@pageMIWx:

When's the slut's baby due, @rickyxhorror? @BlazeRoswell is using you obviously.

Just as I read the tweet out loud to Chris, my phone rang. Blaze was yelling so many things at once that I couldn't understand her.

"Blaze! Calm down and talk."

"You better fix this, Ricky! Or we're through." She hung up and didn't even give me a chance to explain. I looked at Chris and thought of something.

"We have to call them out onstage. To clear everything up."

Ghost laid his hand on my shoulder and smiled small. "Don't want to cause drama though, do you?"

"I don't really care. As long as Blaze isn't being attacked."

Ghost nodded and we left to get ready to perform. I was painting my arms black and mumbling the things I wanted to say to the fans to myself. I didn't want to sound harsh but I didn't want to play it off. I had to think of something mature and stern.

The fans cheered out loud when we went out onstage and we went as fast as we could through 'Devil's Night'. Once the song ended, I walked over with Ryan to switch our guitars for the next song. Chris was rambling about the weather and the awesome welcome we got when Ryan nudged me.

"When are you calling them out?"

I smirked. "We're not in a gang, Ryan. I'm not 'calling' anyone out. I'm just going to bring it up and ask that everyone stop."

"They'll laugh at you." Ryan chuckled. "Think of something better." I stood still as he walked back to his place. I took a drink of water before strumming the first few notes of 'Abigail'. Chris finished and walked to grab a water before handing me the mic.

"Go." He mouthed. I looked out towards the audience and the amount of confused faces terrified me. A fan or two screamed, probably thinking I was going to sing and I took a deep breath before raising the mic to my mouth to speak.

"Um, hi guys. I have something important to say so if you guy could keep the cheering and chatter down, that'd be nice. Uh..." I faded out and looked at the band. They urged me on and I sighed before continuing.

"Well lately I've seen a lot of things on Twitter about my fiancé. People calling her a slut and a whore because she's pregnant... With my baby. Yes, her and Chris dated previously but before I was even in this band, her and I were official. We went to high school together and I called things off for this band. When we saw each other again, her and Chris tried things out but we realized that we couldn't be apart. So we gave it try again. And it's been great. We're getting married after this tour and then having a baby together. I'm excited and I want you guys to be excited for me. To call her out, call her all these names for nothing hurts not only her but the whole band. We all love her and if you can't, then don't call yourself a fan of us."

The crowd erupted in a massive cheer. The band and everyone around applauded and I nearly collapsed with relief. I laughed and Chris patted me on the back before stealing the mic and speaking his own words.

"If you've got a problem with how it's all working, then fucking suck it up and deal with it. My best friend is happy and he's going to have a family, for fuck's sake be happy for him. It's his baby, his fiancé, his life. Stay out of it and keep the hate to yourself. This is Immaculate Misconception."

We performed it and finished the set with some other songs. We ran off stage, drenched in sweat, and to the bus to clean up before our signing. I called Blaze and told her everything we said and she sounded pretty satisfied.

"Thank you... I'm so glad you guys did. If this doesn't clear up, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if I'll be able to be with you."

"Blaze, we'll fix it. You and I are staying together no matter what."

I could almost see her smile as she mumbled 'I love you'. We shared our goodbyes and the guys and I walked for the signing. Fans after fans congratulated Blaze and I on the pregnancy and the engagement. We were almost finished when the last fan came up and slapped her poster down. I recognized her as the same fan I met in the airport in Vegas.

"I would say I'm happy for you, but I'm not, Ricky. Know why? Because no matter what you say, Blaze is a bitch. She doesn't know what she wants. She's just a band whore who goes from one band member to another. But I," she breathed in the air between us, "can give you everything."

I puked in the back of my throat and Chris laughed out loud. "What are you, like 12? Get out of here." He shooed her away and got up to leave. We all refused to sign her poster and walked away as she continued to yell things.

"Crazy bitch." Ryan laughed and we all joined in. This tour so far was crazy but I was looking forward to it being over. I just wanted to get home to Blaze and our baby.