You Should Have Chosen me

Chapter 30

Tati P.O.V

I felt like a lost soul actually. There was so much fear in me. I was scared of the possibility of getting kidnapped again. I always thought that hiring security was a waste of time. Now, I had one stationed at the front door and in front of the building. Tristan made sure that two more guards followed me wherever I went. My passion for collecting cars was a waste cause I refused to drive myself anywhere. Tristan got me a Hummer and let me use his Rolls Royce so his drivers drove me around.

Even after a month, I still slept with the lights on, snuggled with Zeus while Tristan kept his distance while on the same bed. Today though, I was going to just get out of my shell. I didn't want to keep burdening Tristan by dragging him through my bullshit I was going through. I've been scouting around for an apartment, for a fresh new start. My current one being next to Logan's and everything was still traumatizing.

Opting for a more low key styled place, there was one that was just perfect. It had a cozy feeling with warmer colors. My current apartment was great, but it didn't feel like a home. Being in the center of New York could be overwhelming sometimes. I found one that was just outside and was beautiful.

Obviously Tristan didn't know what I was doing. Anthony was handling the moving of my stuff and I was holding Zeus in my arms. I was going to miss this ball of fur and of course, his master. Even though Tristan and me hardly bonded, I just knew that I fell for him.

Never being the one to believe in love at first sight, but my gut was so sure this time. The last boxes from my room were taken out and Tristan walked out. He was in his suit, his tie was loosened and the first button was undone. His hair was ruffled. I could tell he had a long day in the office. It wasn't easy for sure cause he had to clean up the mess Logan had done to the company.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked confused.

"Umm I-- I-- I'm moving out." I looked away from him.

"Are you serious? What the hell for?!" he was frustrated. He moved into the kitchen area where I was standing.

I took a deep breath and just spilled everything out " I feel like I'm dragging you down with me. I'm just not in a good place. I don't want to burden you anymore even though you told me you'll always be here for me. I want to see you be happy and live again. Something I can't bring myself to do. I need to straighten myself out." when I was done, I realized that I was squashing Zeus a little too hard from the talk.

"You're really not going to believe me when I said I'd really be there for you were you?" he said quietly.

"It's not that I don't want to. I'm trying really hard. But I need to just sort my life out. I need to learn to accept the fact that I can't trust many people. I just need to heal. To heal I must feel." he didn't look at me now. He just stared blankly out the window. 

"If you insist then. When are you leaving?" his voice was no longer the warm caring sexy voice. It was cold and emotionless.

"Soon actually. The last box just went out. This place is all yours now." I quipped.

He merely shook his head and went into his room. Setting Zeus onto the floor, I walked into his room. 

"Tristan, please don't be mad at me. I just want you to understand why I'm doing this. I won't be this way forever.I-- I really like you even though you might not like me." I tried not to cry when I said that.

"There's no point if I say anything cause you're just going to believe me. And I'll never be mad at you Tatiana." he walked over and hugged me.

I loved his hugs it gave me so much pleasure in the sense that I felt so safe cause I was engulfed by his body. His smell was sexy as hell. He was rubbing his hands up and down my back in an effort to comfort me but it was just making me want to bite him so I pulled back.