spider-man and steve rogers oneshots 2

Valentine's Day: S.R (GC)

T'Challa has created a chatroom.

T'Challa has added Tony, Steve, Y/N, Sam, Vision, Wanda, Natasha, Clint, T'Challa, Thor, Bucky, Rhodey, Bruce, Peter, Pietro.

T'Challa: Alright, idiots, fess up. Who rigged JARVIS to play the Pink Panther theme song whenever I walked into the lounge during that New Year's party? Explain yourselves, or I shall unleash the wrath of the Dora Milaje upon your sorry asses. You have been warned.

Thor: T'was not me.

Natasha: Nope, not me.

Clint: Not me. I'm too lazy to pull off something like that. I prefer peacefully watching Brooklyn Nine Nine on the couch with a giant bag of cream cheese and onion chips, thank you very much.

T'Challa: Stark.

Tony: I was sleeping.

Y/N: Tony...you never sleep.

Tony: Touché. But I was tired last night. Hmm...Y/N, you seem suspicious.

Y/N: Me, suspicious? How?

Tony: You're an assassin.

Y/N: *Were

Y/N: But that also means I could kick your ass in 150 different ways.

Steve: She's got a point. I wouldn't try and cross her path, either. She's as deadly as Nat.

Nat: Damn right she is.

Rhodey: Nah. Y/N's a softie. She wouldn't hurt a fly.

Bucky: Actually, she can. How do you think I got that black eye?

Y/N: #sorrynotsorry I can't help being better at kickboxing than you.

Bucky: I hate you

Y/N: Go throw yourself off a train.

Bucky: That's it, I'm killing you tonight.

Y/N: Fight me, hoe

Bucky: ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) (╬ಠ益ಠ)

Steve: No. You're not hurting her, Buck.

Y/N: hehehheheh my savior <33

Steve: :)

Sam: Love. How disgusting.

T'Challa: Okay, now will you all shut up and get back on track? Which one of you did it? I'm not logging off until I find out.

Loki: Pathetic, foolish mortal peasants. You all look unbelievably stupid right now.

T'Challa: You little shit. It was you, wasn't it.

Loki: :) Maybe yes, maybe no.

Loki has left the chat.

Thor: I apologize, Sir T'Challa. He is adopted.

T'Challa: Now that we've gotten that over with, there is one more thing I'd like to say. I've been wanting to say it for a while now.

Clint: Another broken white boy in need of fixing? Ask Shuri.

T'Challa: No, that's not it.

Wanda: What's going on?

T'Challa: I just wanted to say that Y/N, Captain, you better get your shit together and admit your feelings or I am flying over and holding you over a cliff that hangs above shark-infested waters until you confess. I'm not joking. I will do it, if that's what it all comes down to.