A Mother's Pride

Chapter 26

Chris' POV

Courtney was the first person I had ever opened up to about how I felt after Mmampho left. And what she said really helped. I had been in a dark hole for weeks, trying to figure out how I feel and why I feel this way. Who knew some lady who was trying to flirt with me at a bar would help me figure out my emotions.

I think I am drunk again. I look at the bottle of wine that was supposed to help me with the hangover and it is half-full. We are both tipsy and won't stop laughing.

Courtney is still in her towel.

"Did you start feeling horrible after she left you?"

"Yes." I say it very slowly and laugh at how weird I sound.

"Is it hot in here? And why the heck is it so quiet? We need music! Music!" She agrees and turns it on. We continue laughing.

"Do you know why you felt like that after she left you?" She asks.

"No."

"Because you let her become your only source of happiness. You had your happiness based on her."

"Hmmm."

"At some point a lot of us have different sources of happiness but before finding such sources, we should be able to find happiness within ourselves. Because if our happiness comes from other people or things, once those things or people are gone, they disappear with our happiness, bringing back the emptiness that was there before they tagged along. You understand?"

"Maybe, do I get another glass for understanding?"

"Who cares? Drink as much as you want if it makes you happy." She flails her hands in the air and I pour myself another glass.

"It's crazy. I am filthy rich, I literally have everything I need and could get more. Why do I still feel so empty?"

"Ahh!" She smiles.
"Rich huh?" She adds.

"Yes."

"People wish for riches...but they forget to wish for eternal peace and happiness. Without those two, you will just feel like an empty box. It's worse for you because you lack companionship, you are lonely as well. So you are just an empty box, with holes all over."

I did not understand the logic behind the holes all over the box but I still nodded because everything else made sense.

"A poor person that's living a peaceful and happy life, is way better than a rich person who keeps making more riches that they would never spend or never need. Rather have them all, wealth, peace, happiness and the love."

"You are really smart Court. Can I call you Court?"

"Nope! Nope! Nope! Stick to Courtney, please knight."

"Can I have your number, my therapist." We exchanged numbers.

"I'm starting to think you don't have much fun, do you?"

"You are right. Work always keeps me busy." I answer her.

"You live a boring life. Go out more and have fun. Explore. You have all the money you need for fun, so why not? I'm not saying waste your life or money, just...don't be behind the desk all the time. Get fresh air and meet new people. Like you did last night. Sometimes, you have to be spontaneous. Did you have fun last night?"

"No, it was disturbed by some woman trying to be all Oprah on me."

"You are funny knight."

"I should really go." I search in my pocket for my car keys and I cannot find them. "I think I lost my car keys."

"I have them. You are too drunk to drive Knight, just crash on the sofa for a few hours and you can leave once you wake up. Alright?"

"Okaay Court." I laugh and stand. I stumble and fall onto the sofa and that's the last thing I remember.

...

I press the remote and open the gate. Gift is the first one that runs out the door and comes running to me.

"Daddy! We were worried sick about you. Where did you run off to?"

"I went to Thabo's." I lie. I lift him and we walk into the house where the whole family is.

"You should have called to tell us where you were." Nina says.

"Hey Gift, please go upstairs and wait for daddy to come and fix your kit for you okay?"

"Okay." He does just that.

"I am sorry okay, I needed air."

"Fine we get it, but a simple call or at least a text wouldn't hurt you Chris." Nina shouts and I roll my eyes.

"You have never acted this way son, what is this woman doing to you?" Mom asks.

"Would you stop mentioning that woman, I do not want to hear you guys talking about her ever again." I harshly say.

"We called her to check if you were with her last night." And that explains why Mmampho would call me. No, it explains nothing, she doesn't care about me so why would she be worried about me? It does not make sense at all.

"Lipstick?"

"Where?"

"On your t-shirt." It must have been when Courtney's face was buried in my chest, I did not even notice it when I was getting dressed.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Chris, did you sleep with a stranger?" Mom asks.

"Wh...what do you take me for? No. Can I please go rest, this headache is killing me." I go upstairs and change. I fail to fall asleep so I go back downstairs.

"I am sorry for running off and not calling or texting you guys, I am sorry for the worry I caused upon you guys and I am sorry for the way I reacted when I came back, just a few minutes ago. I hope you have forgiven me." I don't give them a chance to respond before I head to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

I then head to my room again and lay on my pillow, looking out the window.

Does Mmampho care about me?

Maybe I should call her to tell her that I am safe and I am back home and maybe explain to her why I had run off. Although I will not tell her that I spent the night with a woman, that could ruin my chances with her.

I look at her contact in my phone and my pulse quickens, I am nervous, darn! It has been a while since I talked to her. Am I sure I want to do this? Actually, I am.

I dial it. It rings, rings, rings until it goes to voicemail. I try again and on the fifth ring, I get declined. Maybe it was a mistake, I call her again and she declines the call again. Why did she call me then?

When I try again, it does not even ring, it goes straight to voicemail and I assume that she switched off her phone.