jimin
when you are afraid of giving birth
You had just passed the 8 months mark of being pregnant. Both Jimin and you were beyond excited to meet your daughter soon. But despite the anticipation, you were growing more and more anxious as the due date was approaching. Sadly you hadn't really gotten to enjoy being pregnant like you had hoped you would. Your pregnancy had been one hell of a ride. The side effects were completely wrecking you. You had been experiencing really bad back pains and had really strong morning sickness. Almost every morning you were hanging above the toilet, throwing up. In addition to that you also frequently had very intense cramps, that left you paralyzed. At night, it was almost impossible to find a comfortable position to sleep in, which made it hard for you to fall asleep. You were trying your best to stay strong and be grateful for getting to experience being pregnant, knowing that many women were struggling to have a baby, but at times you couldn't help but wish all of this would stop.
Alongside, your husband Jimin was having a really hard time too. It broke his heart to see you in so much pain every day. The situation made it impossible for him to go to work the past three months. He didn't want to leave your side, so he asked his manager for a generous break. The boys were really supportive of Jimin's decision to support you during these hard times, so that Jimin was able to leave work with peace of mind. Jimin was being very considerate and understanding towards you. He would massage your back every day, help you take baths and change your clothes without complaining about it once. You were very emotional and sensitive at times. Often you overreacted and lashed out at him even though all he was trying to do was to help you.
You were yet again going through one of your mood swings. Your back was killing you. The pain was so bad that it even made you cry. Laying on your back on the sofa in the living room, you bit your bottom lip hard, trying to endure it.
Jimin entered the room with two mugs in his hands, smiling brightly.
"I made us hot chocolate baby" he cheerfully told you, setting the mugs down on the coffee table. When he took a closer look at you, he immediately noticed the tear stains on your cheeks. His heart dropped, and he approached you, gently taking your hand in his.
"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked you in a small voice.
"What's wrong?" you scoffed, pulling your hand away rather harshly. "Are you seriously asking me what the fuck is wrong?"
Jimin felt at a loss for words, feeling bad for having asked such a stupid question. He didn't mean no harm, he just didn't know what to do. It broke his heart that he couldn't do anything to help the pain go away.
"Baby, I am sorry. That was a stupid question" he apologized, trying to calm you down. The doctor had said to make sure that you didn't stress yourself too much.
"I am so sick and tired of this" you yelled, sitting up with lots of effort. When Jimin tried to help you, you only pushed his hands away. "You keep on asking me these stupid questions 24/7 and I can't fucking bear to hear your voice any more at this point!"
You saw hurt flash across his face, as he looked down in shame. He hated that he was of no help to you.
"I hate you so much" you yelled at him, letting out all of your frustration as tears streamed down your face. Though Jimin knew you didn't mean the words that you were saying out of rage, it still hurt to hear those words fall from your lips. You began sobbing as guilt immediately rose inside of you.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" you cried. Jimin pulled you into his arms, holding your head against his chest as he rubbed your back and shushed you.
"It's okay baby" he said, "Everything will be alright."
"Jimin, I am in so much pain" you sobbed into his shirt. A stinging pain shot through Jimin's heart.
"I am so sorry that you are going through this baby" he said, hugging you tighter, "You are such a strong woman. I am in awe of how well you are putting up with all this. I am so proud of you, and I am so grateful. It will be over soon. When we get to hold our beautiful daughter in our arms, all the pain will be worth it."
"Jimin, I am so sorry" you uttered out in between your sobs.
"It's okay baby" he reassured, "I can't imagine the pain you are going through. You can't think straight in a state like this."
To hear your husband being this understanding only made you angrier. You were angry at yourself for lashing out on him even though he was being the best husband someone could ever ask for. But you couldn't control your emotions, the words were slipping your mouth without your permission.
"I am scared" you finally admitted. You were scared shitless of giving birth. How were you supposed to endure birth pain when you couldn't even deal with the side effects of pregnancy? As the due date creeped closer and closer you began to grow anxious. You didn't think you would be able to survive giving birth at this point. You were a total mess.
"I know" Jimin said, slightly pulling away and taking your face in his hands. Slowly lifting your face up, he looked into your puffy red eyes. "Giving birth is probably the scariest thing. I can't tell you that it is going to be easy, that it won't hurt. But I promise to be there for you. I won't leave your side for a single second. I will do everything that I can to support you. I know you can do this, baby. You made it so far, I know that you can make it to the end. You don't know your strength yet. You are the strongest, most resilient person I know. If you can't believe in yourself than at least believe in me, baby."
You began to cry harder at his sweet words. He wiped your tears with his thumbs, kissing the tip of your nose multiple times.
"Cheer up my love" he cooed, placing a kiss on your forehead and then on your lips. "I will run you a hot bath and then I will massage your back, okay?"
Nodding your head, you finally got a grip on yourself and stopped crying. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you gave him a tight hug, kissing his neck.
"I love you so much" you mumbled into his skin, "so unbelievably much."
"I love you too, (y/n)" he told you, holding you close to him. Pulling away, he lovingly rubbed your baby belly.
"Our daughter is so proud of you" he told you, leaning down to place a kiss on your tummy. "She is very lucky to have such a badass mother like you."
You chuckled lightly, running your fingers through Jimin's hair.
"She is very lucky to have such a patient, caring and loving father like you" you said, "How are you even putting up with my mood swings? I am such a pain in the ass when I am emotional."
"I know that you have no control over your emotions right now" he told you, chuckling "You are not acting like this on purpose. The pain you are going through exceeds my imagination. To be understanding is the least I can do to support you. I wish I could do more. I wish I could go through this pain in your place but that's not possible."
Connecting your lips, you kissed him passionately. He made your heart flutter. You knew how lucky you were to have him.
"I am still scared" you admitted, looking into his warm brown eyes, "But with you by my side, I know I can do it."
Jimin gave you a small smile, kissing you again. His love healed you, his kisses made the pain go away. In his warm embrace you found peace.
*A/N follow my imagine page on Instagram at moonchild_starrynight :)
