namjoon
secret love affair
Kim Namjoon was a mystery to you. He crawled into your bed every night, loving you like no man had loved you before. But in the morning there was no trace of him. He ignored you at work, acting like he hadn't just been all over you a few hours ago. He was strictly professional, didn't allow for any slips. After all, he had a reputation to keep up, a persona that embodied authority and discipline. He had given away too much of himself to get to the position he was in now and there was nothing that would make him risk his business.
To the world out there he portrayed himself as an icy man with a strict look in his eyes and hard features. He barely showed any emotions since he believed they showcased vulnerability. Sure, the media fed into that, helping him keep up his image. But when he was with you all of that came crumbling down. You were able to move him in ways nobody could. For you, Namjoon let his guards down.
He let you be intimate with him beyond physical means. It was only you, he showed some sort of emotion. It was not intentional by any means. Rather, it was an inevitability. He couldn't hide his feelings from you when he caressed your bare skin, feeling every inch of you. When you looked into his eyes, he felt that you could read his soul like an open book. His love for you was pure bliss and a thrill he couldn't get out of anything else. He wanted to hand you his soul on the one hand and on the other he was scared to death to let you in. Yet he played this dangerous game every night, revealing more and more of himself as he left hot kisses all over you. In the night he sought for rest. When he was with you, he put his mask down for a couple hours. His therapy took place in red satin sheets with you.
But as soon as he woke up in the morning, he immediately went back to his professional role.
He woke up extra early to make sure he didn't have a chance of seeing you wake up. He knew the day he stayed until you woke up beside him, he would not be able to go back. He would never leave your side then. Therefore, it was important that he kept boundaries. This way he could protect both of what was precious to him: his business and you.
But life never went like that. It was not possible to have both. Losses were always a price. Namjoon had just gotten used to living in denial in order to manage his fears.
He left butterfly kisses on your shoulder blades as he gently drew circles on your hip. Your skin felt so soft and smooth beneath his fingertips, that he felt drowsy, almost like in a trance. The effects you had on him where beyond his imagination.
You laid there comfortably, enjoying the feeling of his tender lips on your skin. Though you couldn't see his face since your back was turned to him, you could feel how relaxed and at ease he was. In moments like these, his eyes always held a soft look. It was your favorite thing.
You didn't want to face him though because you were afraid he would notice your distress. He could read you like an open book as well as you could read him. You were actually hurt by his behavior towards you during the meeting today. You worked in the marketing department of his company and had to attend a few of his meetings regularly. Although you were used to his cold attitude at your workplace, today it had especially struck you hard just how much of a different person he was outside the bedroom.
During your presentation, some male employees had made sexist remarks about how you clearly didn't understand men's business and were coming up with impractical ideas. You had worked very hard with your team on a rebranding project that would increase the prestige of the company but yet again you were only getting bashed for it. Not once during your whole career had you managed to get approval for a project of yours at the first try. They always made you beg and prove yourself several times. You had gotten used to it and had a thick skin when it came to stuff like this, but the remarks were getting more and more personal with every time. A line was clearly crossed today but Namjoon had chosen to overlook it. He did not defend you. You didn't expect him to defend you as his lover, you only wanted to be defended as his hardworking employee. But not even that he could do for you.
