SAFE PLACE...SHAWN MENDES

twenty-four; all of us

SERENITY HUDSON
"When life just ain't fair
It's okay to be scared"
Love You To Death by Chord Overstreet
—

My eyes were glued on my sleepy husband, his eyes were closed as he peacefully slept. We told his family about the cancer and most of them didn't understand why not the treatments or got mad at me for didn't convince him, but I understood their pain so I let them be mad at me.

Shawn didn't need his family to be in conflict and, I deeply knew that none of them meant what they said to me. They were just lost and didn't know how to react.

"Morning." His raspy voice echoed through my ears, earning a smile from me.

I played with his hair as he hummed. "How are you?"

He shrugged. "Tired but okay, how are you?"

"I'm happy." I replied. "If you're here, everything is good."

He smiled softly. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you." I told him. "Alright, get up grandpa we have to get ready."

He sighed. "Can I least have a morning kiss?" He pouted his lips, I chuckled shaking my head and pecked his lips. "That's better, thank you."

"I have to go to the shower but I think the kids are already up, so you get them ready and when I'm done you can go shower." I explained as he nodded.

"Are you sure you want to see my family after everything they said?" He queried wincing. "I don't want you to don't feel good."

I shook my head. "We are going." I quickly answered. "Your family was mad, sad and confused so I understood, I'd have react the same way."

He smiled as I stood up and went to the bathroom. I locked the door and stared at myself in the mirror, in a few months I will be alone and without him but I have to grow stronger for him, for the kids, for everyone.

The hot water hit my back as I relaxed and, let out the emotions I felt. The shower was the only place where I could feel vulnerable and sad, the tears rolled down my cheeks as I silently sobbed. If Shawn saw me like this, he would probably get mad at me.

I definitely wasn't ready for him to leave, I wanted him to be here to see the girls get married and be sad because they're leaving to uni, I wanted him to see his little boy growing up and became a little charmer. I couldn't help but think about my mom and dad, my dad also died of cancer and I always thought 'wow it must be so hard to lose our soulmate'.

The situation was so hard, I remembered hearing my mom cries at night because she missed him, I remembered spending a whole week at my aunt's cause she wasn't able to manage me... she was too broken. To be honest, I hated her for a moment because her husband died but he was my dad too and she never thought of asking me how was I doing or how I was handling things.

"Are you almost done?" Asked Shawn behind the door. "The kids are waiting and so am I." He chuckled.

I cut the water and grabbed a towel. "Yeah, coming."

The door flew open revealing a smiling Shawn, he wrapped his arms around my waist and slowly kissed me. "Thank you, babe. I will be quick."