It's Complicated 2 ✔️

Chapter: 4

Noel has his own stuff here, so whenever I come here I hardly need to bring anything along with myself. In fact, Miles has kept a crib in Ryan's nursery for Noel. Ryan is also such a sweetheart he keeps bringing his toys to Noel, especially, when Noel cries he tries to console him by hugging.

"After nearly getting scratched from Ryan for distancing him from Noel, I have managed to put both of them to sleep." Natalie slumps on the couch, "I fucking deserve a medal."

"I should admonish you for using the f-word, but I know how much liberated we feel by expressing ourselves without censoring our words." I laugh as she joins me.

Soon her laugh subsides and I notice the lost look in her eyes, which she is trying to hide from me the moment I saw her.

"What's wrong?" I softly ask while gently rubbing her hand, after placing the cup on the side table.

"I don't know." She sighs covering her head with her hands, "I am just scared."

"Scared? Why?" I frown.

"You know, that I love Ryan. Probably more than anyone in this world." Her voices crack, and she takes a deep breath to control her emotions.

I smile knowing full well, what she means and how she feels. Every mother is this world feels this way.

"Two days ago, I thought I was pregnant," she says quietly, "But, I was not able to feel happy about it. I was scared of disappointing Ryan as a mother." She looks at me with tear-filled eyes.

"I was was terrified, that what if this baby comes and Ryan feels that I love him less because he is not my biological son? Or worse what if he feels abandoned because of this baby?" She silently breaks down, as I try to process what she is saying.

"I love him and I don't want him to ever feel that he is not loved. I may not have given him birth, but I love him so much that I can't bear the thought of him being insecure of another baby because he has to share his mother."

Wrapping my arms around her, I let her cry as I hold her.

When Natalie loves someone she loves them fiercely and will do anything for them. But, this is Natalie, a mother, who loves her Ryan so much that she will sacrifice everything for the sake of him. Even her own flesh and blood.

"Look at me." Holding her shoulders I force her to look at me, "Answer me truthfully, if Ryan was your biological son, even then you would have felt this way?"

"I... maybe." Wiping her tears, she gives me a perplexed look.

"Yes or no?" I sternly ask her.

"No." She shakes her head after thinking for a moment.

"Why?"

"Maybe because then he doesn't have anything to be insecure about, because he is not any different than my other children." She scrunches up her eyebrows, putting her thoughts in words.

"See? This is the problem." I give her a pointed look, "You say you love him like your own, then why are you treating him any different?"

"Giving birth has nothing to do with a mother's love, Li," I say softly, "Remember, what you said to me when you told me your decision of adopting Ryan?"

"I want to be Ryan's Beth." She fondly smiles with a distant look in her eyes.

"So, has mom ever made you feel any different from Hannah or me?" Raising my eyebrows, I ask her.

"No, Beth always treated me like I am her own." She smiles and this time her eyes shine with the love for mom.

"So, how can you be Ryan's Beth when you are doubting yourself and your love for him?" I place a hand on her shoulder.