Star Trek Imagines (Reader-Inserts) Part One

DS9. Julian Bashir - Insecurities

A/N: Female reader

You slowly swirled your drink around with your straw and watched the busy atmosphere of Quarks around you. There were a lot of traders and transport captains on the station currently, and after a long day of business they had all congregated at the bar. The Dabo tables were full and by the sounds of it, the house was losing. The bar itself was surrounded, and nearly every table was full. A group of aliens were gathered around the darts board and you were just hoping they had good aim.

You were in the back, watching but avoiding all of the excitement. You spotted Julian walking into the bar and you prayed he wouldn't see you.

Damn.

He started walking your way with a friendly smile on his face.

You quickly finished your drink.

"Mind if I join you?" Julian asked.

"I um, I was actually just about to go," you told him as you stood. "I have a report I need to get done."

Julian frowned. "Have I done something to upset you?"

"No, like I said I have—"

"A report," he interjected. "I don't mean to seem untrustworthy, but that seems like yet another excuse as to why you won't spend time with me. So, the only thing I can think of is that I have done something wrong."

You frowned and shook your head. "No, Julian, it isn't you."

He sat and nodded at the seat you had been in. "Talk to me, Y/N. Why does it feel like you're avoiding me?"

You sighed and plopped back down. "Because I am avoiding you."

And then Julian had that look on his face. The look of confusion and hurt that made him look like a lost puppy.

"Julian," you said, then paused. How were you to explain this to him? How were you going to tell him about all of your insecurities that caused you to feel so self-conscious and shy?

"You know you can tell me anything," Julian said, breaking the silence that was starting to consume you two, despite being surrounded by the constant noise of Quark's.

You nodded slightly and fidgeted with your fingers. "I know. You haven't done anything, Julian. It's me. I... I don't know. I don't feel like I'm good enough for you."

Julian's brow furrowed. "What? What do you mean?"

"You're so smart. You're so incredibly smart. You know information about all sorts of things. You're an incredible doctor and have such an impressive mind." You shrugged. "Sometimes I feel like I'm not smart enough to be around you. Like you're always dumbing yourself down for me."

"Y/N," Julian said in disbelief. "Don't say that. You're smart, too. So medicine isn't your thing, so what? You think I understand half of what Miles is talking about when he's explaining some engineering procedure? We all have our different skills, but that doesn't make any of us more or less intelligent."

You shrugged again. "Thank you. I guess, I don't know. Sometimes I feel so in awe by your knowledge that I feel insecure about my own."

"You're so bright. You have such unique perspectives on things and you come up with ideas I would have never thought of. I'm in awe of you all the time."

You smiled slightly. "Thank you."

Julian narrowed his eyes slightly, still seeing hesitation and insecurity in your demeanor. "That's not all, is it?"

"How can you tell?"

"I know you," he replied. "Come on, I won't judge you. Tell me what's bothering you."

You sighed heavily and lowered your gaze. "I don't look like the other women on the station. I don't have a figure like Dax or Kira, or Leta, or even Keiko. I'm not... I'm not like them."

"I'm happy about that."

You met his eyes. "What?"

"Y/N, I'm not attracted to those women, I'm attracted to you." He reached across the table and held out his hand.

You took it hesitantly, and he gently squeezed your fingers.

"Sure, for a time I was fascinated by Jadzia, but that was just a silly little crush. Then I met you and I knew what I felt was more than a crush. I think you are extremely sexy, and beautiful just the way you are. Y/N, I don't care what size clothing you wear, or what number a scale says. I care about who you are. I care about your talents and your aspirations. I care about your kindness and generosity. I care about your sense of humour. I care about you."

A meek smile pulled at your lips. "You really think that?"

"Of course I do. Who cares if you look like other women? If everyone looked the same, life would be pretty boring. I don't look like some of the other men on the station, but that's what makes me unique. We're all different, and that's a good thing. I like our uniqueness."

Your smile widened. "I guess I do, too."

"You're beautiful, Y/N." He brought your hand to his face and kissed your knuckles gently. "Now, why don't you let me buy you another drink?"

"Actually... I'd rather go back to your quarters and just spend the evening with you. I'm kind of sick of this business and want to just... talk and be with you."

Julian smiled and nodded. "That sounds lovely to me."

The two of you stood and Julian wrapped his arm around your waist. He gave your cheek a kiss as the two of you left the hectic atmosphere of Quark's.