Rose #9//Lil Peep

#48: Trust Me

I could feel my mom's eyes rip into my face as my inner child dissolved into fear. What was I to say? Could I have no opinion on the matter? Much like how I feel about everything else.

Both awaited and eventually, my conscience came up with a neutral response. The kind that hinders with no weight, "I don't know what I want."

Indelibly, that's how I truly felt, almost always. A realization, if you will.

Taken back, my mom and Dr. Blake looked at each other immediately. Their expressions most likely said that they were the adults, and it was Dr. Blake that re-gathered his judgement and looked to my mom. "Like I said, her scans are healthy, and yes you are in her care, but I think it's best that we lighten her intake so she doesn't become dependent on them, especially because she's so young."

This time when my mom looked over, her eyes gave the needed understanding and with such a silence, she nodded her head, looked back to Dr. Blake and voices in agreement.

Momentarily, the Figure came to mind but vanished just as quickly.

--

"Ms. Almara, will pick you up, I'll be home late so make sure to take out the trash, do your homework, and don't forget to mark your calendar for Columbia."

"Yeah, okay."

"See you."

"Yeah, see you."

Turning around, I knew I was a bit early for swimming but also, that's now what I had in mind.

Once she was gone, I pulled the iPhone from my bag and powered it one. After the silver apple disappeared, I unlocked the screen and saw that I had messages. It had to be Gus, and I was right when pulling up his text.

imma skip skull today

ill be at the skatEbark latta

texx me weh u here :)

They were sent separately, through out the day, the last one being delivered a little over twenty minutes ago.

Pulling up the keyboard, I typed and took away each letter, feeling I was being too informative about my day. Especially when I mentioned the counseling. Slightly shaking my head no, I redefined into simplicity and replied in two words,

I'm here.

Thinking he'd answer back instantly, I was proven wrong when I gradually ended up sitting on the concrete staircase, refreshing the Messaging app continuously.

Lost, I could feel my eyes becoming wider. It became so intense that I lift my head and right across the way, in the very spot outside the fence, stood the Figure.

Mist in black, it lured. I wasn't frozen in fear, rather I yearned to get closer. That was my immediate feeling and I knew it be impossible like all the times before. Hadn't I been-

"Chris!"

From the slightest turn of my head, I saw Gus walking over as my eyes motioned between them. The apprehension was building, and I had no impulse to react. I kept my silence, recollecting and forth coming until I whipped my head to Gus, standing before me. Instead of matching his expression, I looked back to where the Figure stood.

Mist in black, it was the longest it ever lured.

"Are you okay?"

My head turned back in Gus's direction, who had his eyes set on where the Figure stood.

"Uh." I looked to see it still watching. "Uh, yeah, I thought I-"

Again, my eyes re-directed to Gus. "I thought I saw someone I knew."

"Looks like there's no one," he laughed, again I looked and within my preoccupied state of being, I finally had enough. "Yeah, come on let's go."

Getting up, I was so baffled that I yanked his arm and pulled him in whatever direction I found myself in. But still as we furthered away, I couldn't stop myself from looking back.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Looking up to his brown eyes, mine beamed to feeling of our interlocked hand.

Immediately, my head whipped downward as I simultaneously respond to him and tucked my hair as a subtle way to remove my hand from his. "Yeah."

And like a turn of subject, I shot back the same question, jokingly. From concrete to glancing at each other, he snickered while holding a coy expression. I could see he had something in mind, and it didn't take a second for him to say it. "You wanna go Skudin?"

"Like walk there?" "No, with my bike." "How long do you think that will take?"

Across a patchy field we approached three tall trees and a table. "About 15 minutes."

"What about my bag?" I reply, looking down to my leather satchel. Swiftly, he pulled on it, yanking me a few inched closer, "Give it to me."

Demanding, yet I listened and held it out to him. Taking it, he swooped the extending loop around his neck and crossed it over his shoulder until the bag portion laid onto his back then he lifted his bike handle and got on.

"Let's go."

Although I felt like I'd immediately fall when stepping onto the pegs, I managed to get on. Our weight balanced and with a kick of his foot, the tires and pedals under Gus's feet synced into motion. As for me, I held onto his shoulders, somewhat gripping tight than needed, especially when he decided to cross a street to get onto the opposite side.

"Gus!"

"Don't worry!" he hollered, "You have to trust me!"

Just as those words pierced into my head, I nearly mended my face into the nook of his shoulder when he hit a speed bump.

"Gus, you stupid!"

Lifting my head, I looped my arms around his underarms and tightly held onto his shoulders.

From his side profile, I could see him laughing, which made it hard not to smile.

"Try arching your head back."

Loosing my grip, I arched and right above me, the clouds of gray seamlessly passed by. Genuinely, I smiled, followed by a burst of laughter, sounding much like that November night of '03.

🐥