Rose #9//Lil Peep

#43: Voice

To walk beside Gus...

Correction, to walk beside a person you once knew, is a fairy-tale. I mean, what are the chances of this happening to you? And yes, it depends on multiple factors but tell me, could something like this happen in the first place? Or is my mind playing a sick trick on me.

I pinched my elbow for confirmation. Only for him to unexpectedly grab my hand, "Come on, run."

Within crossing the street, I took quick glances at his face as it shift from left to right, watching for oncoming cars. But the more I did (especially after he released my hand) the more intimidating he looked.

His expression was stern and he kept his chin high.

"... So I decided to quit that job."

That was Damien, now an earshot away, talking to Amanda. Who then replied in the same, high pitch voice from earlier. It was strange, but rather it gave the understanding that she liked him a whole lot.

The two continued talking as Gus and I walked quietly behind them. Not that it was affecting me, I just assume it was only natural being that we didn't know each other like we used to.

Not to mention there was a voice developing at the back of my brain. It was reminding me of the consequences of leaving home (without permission) and the number of things that could go wrong, especially after we cross the channel.

"Give me your hand again."

His palm facing downward, we approached another road cross that lead to a parking lot. Meeting at a glance, I did as I was told but for the second time his grasp held on longer. I'm assuming it was because we were walking through parked cars that could reverse at any moment.

Again, approaching a sidewalk he released my hand and there, in front of us, stood the train station. Immediately, I realized that money was needed, whereas Amanda held Damien's hand without the slightest worry.

I could feel my panic begin, "Gus?"

His head shot down in my direction, welcoming me to continue. "How are we going to pay?"

"We have a way in, don't worry about it," he replied as we walked in and before my mind could register what was about to happen, he took my hand and directed our walk to the far right of the terminal, away from the number of people scanning their way in.

First, it was Damien and Amanda going under the bars of entry, then us. Our hands quickly combined again as he forced us to run inside the open doors to the far back of the train. The seats were divided into two so it was Gus and I, and right across the aisle sat Damien and Amanda.

So sudden— how sudden—immensely sudden it felt when I looked at Gus, placing his skateboard beneath his feet. Also, my heart was pounding. It was such a feeling that widen my eyes and made the hand of mine grab at his, placing his fingertips on my neck, "Here, feel my heart."

However, just as the seconds passed, my panting while facing in his direction made me realize that I might've crossed the line— physically speaking, that is. Gradually, I removed his hand and turned my head to face the seat in front of me.

Three words, one statement:

I'm so stupid.